Holding onto Forever 2
by ohhai
Summary: Sequel to my first fanfic, "Holding onto forever". MattxNear, yaoi. I'd give a synopsis but that would give away spoilers to people who haven't read the first one yet. Please enjoy and please review! Thanks.
1. Chapter 1

Ok, here's the sequel. I decided this time to write in the 3rd person point of view instead of first person like the last story. I hope you guys enjoy it! This fist chapter is a shorty and wont explain much, but I'll have chapter 2 up soon.

Oh and I own nothing.

Oh and please, please, please leave reviews. Makes all the difference in the world to me and gives me that confidence boost I need to keep writing.

Holding onto Forever 2.

Chapter 1

"Hey wake up over there! The ground is hot. I repeat, the ground is hot. We need you at your station!" The woman's voice crackled over the intercom. Turning on the dim desk lamp, the young man sat up in bed, wiping his eyes, trying to force himself back awake.

"Why does this always happen in the middle of the bloody night." He whined to himself. He pressed a switch on the intercom which was sitting on the nightstand and spoke into it. "Olivia, I'm up. Is the team outside yet?"

"They're suiting up, please hurry. We need a perimeter scan since it's dark out."

"Ok I'll be right there."

Pulling on a pair of black cargo pants, and leaving on the black tank-top he was sleeping in, he walked out the door to his quarters, and down the long dimly lit corridor that would eventually lead to his post in the ops-centre.

The ops-centre was dark and motionless, as most people were still sleeping at this time. The room was illuminated only by the dim backlighting of the many idle computer screens and indicator lights.

He sat down at his terminal and put on his headset, flipping through several ghostly infra-red images of the area outside the building.

"Ok Olivia, We're open for business. The perimeter's clear."

"Copy. We're out the door."

Approximately 15 minutes of silence had passed. He felt himself drifting back to sleep in his chair, as the din of the computers hypnotized his tired mind.

"Ops! Meet us at the door!" Olivia crackled over the headset, startling him awake.

"Huh? Is everything ok? Is there a perimeter breach?"

"No, we're safe. You just need to come here right away!"

He got up from his chair and walked from the ops-centre door and into the lift, hitting the button for the ground level. Waves of curiosity washed over him. Normally he's not asked to leave his station, not at least until the whole team is back inside.

The lift doors opened. He exited and walked down the short hallway to the grounds entrance security door. As he rounded the bend he found Olivia and the rest of the team. He drew closer, peering around their shoulders to see who they were carrying.

Matt felt the blood drain from his face. He grabbed onto the railing for support as his legs slightly faltered. In their arms, was an unconscious young man with white hair, naked except for the blanket they had wrapped him in.

"Oh my god."


	2. Chapter 2

k. here's chapter 2. Things should make a bit more sense now. Please review :)

Holding onto Forever 2

Chapter 2

Olivia thought back to the conversation she had with Matt not long after his arrival. She thought back to the tears that streamed down his face as he ranted about the boy who he had loved. She had seen it one thousand times over in her line of work, but for some reason she felt drawn to Matt. Perhaps it was his genuine, warm personality. Or maybe it was his intelligence. Whatever it was, it was enough for her to get him a place to live, a job, and comfort when he needed someone to talk to. She was his only friend here.

She thought back to that night when he bared his soul, describing Near to a tee, both physically and mentally. He needed to let it out, to tell someone about him, to fulfil the basic human need of spilling your guts out to whoever is willing to listen. That's why it set off alarms in her head when she saw the white haired boy laying there, someone with a physical appearance as unique as Near's. Against her better judgement she called for Matt, knowing full well it might disappoint him, get his hopes up for nothing. She had a hunch though and followed it. It seemed she might have been right.

"Matt, is it him?" She asked.

Matt nodded, not even sure what to say. He stumbled closer and knelt down to the ground, staring into Near's unconscious face. He stroked his cheek with the back of his fingers gently.

"Near..." He whispered.

"Wait a second. You know this kid?" One of the other men asked. Matt looked up at the man's face.

"Yeah," Matt paused for a moment, taking some time to comprehend what was happening at this point. "C'mon, lets get him to the infirmary."

Matt scooped Near's limp body into his arms, straining a bit as he lifted him up. It would've been far easier to have a few people carry him, but he wanted to carry Near by himself. Once inside the lift he looked down at Near's face. The sight of his soft, gentle features, something he never thought he'd ever see again, brought tears to Matt's eyes. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath, regaining his composure.

Once inside the infirmary, the doctor checked Near's vital signs and declared him healthy, but unconscious.

"I'd like to keep him in my quarters. I think I should be the first thing he sees when he wakes up." Matt said.

"That should be fine. Just make sure you contact us the second anything changes." The doctor said.

Matt nodded. He arranged for a stretcher to carry him from the infirmary to his quarters, where he gently laid him down on his bed, dressed in a hospital gown of sorts. Matt paced the room for a bit before he laid down next to him, completely dumbfounded. He considered that he might be dreaming, although he was fairly sure at this point that wasn't the case. He looked at the time. 35:33. He knew he wasn't going to be able to sleep, so he just turned out the lights, placed his head on Near's shoulder and listened to his breathing, running every possibility through his head, as to how this happened.

Matt felt Near stir in the middle of the night. He listened closely for another sign. It happened again. Matt sat up in bed and quickly turned on the desk lamp on the nightstand. Near was tossing and turning slightly. Matt had seen this before, and knew Near was about to wake up.

"Near... It's ok now. I'm here for you."

Matt held Near's hands. Near's eyes fluttered a bit at first, before fully opening. He stared at Matt, his face was expressionless, blank.

Matt reached over to the intercom and slapped the top of it.

"Olivia! He's awake! Bring the medic!"

"Ok, got it! Be right there!" She replied.

Matt turned his attention back to Near. Near's mouth opened to speak, but no sound would come out. He tried again, his voice was choked, barely a squeak.

"mmm...Matt..."

"Yeah it's me. I'm right here, Near. I'm right here," Matt hugged him tightly, "God I love you so much."

Near responded by placing his hand on Matt's back weakly. Matt took a moment to confront the question that was rattling in his head all night. Exactly why Near was there, laying right in front of him? He pulled away, holding Near at arms length.

"Near. What happened? How did... how did you die?"

Near wrinkled his nose at Matt in confusion. He thought back, thought back to his last memory. The razor, the crimson water, the pain and the fear...his own cries echoed faintly through his head. Near's eyes slowly went wide, as he fearfully looked at his left arm, expecting to see it torn open and bleeding. Matt didn't need any further explanation.

"You killed yourself didn't you... You took your own life..." Matt stared up at the ceiling, as tears began to flood from his eyes down his cheeks. He pressed his fist against his lips as he tried to stifle a cry. The idea of Near hurting himself, especially in that manner was nearly too much for him to bear.

While Near maintained eye contact, his face was still blank.

Olivia and the doctor burst through the door.

"Matt please move aside for a moment. Let the doctor do his thing." She said, as the doctor sat down on the side of the bed.

"Olivia, get me the 436," The doctor said. Olivia fished a bottle out of the doctor's bag, and poured the clear liquid into a glass before handing it to him. "Here drink this. This should help you with that dry throat."

Near took the glass in his hand and quickly drank the whole thing, trying to stave off some of the dehydration he was feeling. The liquid was thick and pungent. He coughed, and thought he was going to gag for a second but held his breath as he swallowed the last drop carefully.

"Where am I?" Near asked, his voice still a bit dry and scratchy, mostly a whisper, but audible.

He looked up at Matt, who was standing above him.

"I don't exactly know how to say this too you, Near. It's complicated." Matt said.

"..."

"Near, this is the afterlife."

There was a long pause as Near digested what he was told. He was conflicted, not sure whether he should be surprised or not. This is what he wanted when he took that razor into his hand, yet it still seemed unbelievable. The memory of that event came back to him in a flood. He could almost still feel the pain and the fear gripping him. He knew there was no way he could have survived. The blood was pouring out of him from a 12 inch self-inflicted gash in his arm and there was nobody else around in that locked hotel room. It was in the middle of the night, and nobody would come looking for him. He was dead, and now he was here, in a strange place, looking up at Matt. Yes, he shouldn't have been surprised, but he was.

"Am I in heaven?" He asked, the words felt strange to him as it left his lips.

"Umm... No, not exactly..."

"Am I on Earth?"

"Umm...No." Matt replied nervously.

"Matt, let me help." Olivia said. She was used to explaining this to people. She knew exactly what to say, but before she could open her mouth, Near sat up.

"Not on Earth..." He whispered, staring blankly in front of him. His eyes fluttered a bit as he started to lose consciousness, falling back in the bed as he lost strength.

"Near!" Matt cried, grabbing Near by the shoulders.

"Leave him Matt! This is a bit too much for him to handle. Let him rest." The doctor said as he started checking Near's vital signs, writing in a clipboard after each process.

"Don't forget Matt. You were pretty freaked out yourself when you first came here." Olivia said.

Matt paced around the room.

"I know... I know. He killed himself Olivia. He killed himself because of me. I cant fucking believe this is happening."

"Just be glad he's here with you. Don't you understand the odds of that happening? How lucky you are?"

"I am! I just..." Matt trailed off. He didn't know what else to say.

"Matt. Go take a walk. Go get something to eat. I'll watch him." Olivia said.

"Are you sure? What if he wakes up again?"

"I can handle it Matt. Remember, this is what I do. Go and clear your head."

Matt sighed and after a short pause nodded his head.

"I'll be at the east galley, and then I'm going to blow off some steam at the handball court. Page me if anything."

"Don't worry about him Matt, he'll be fine."

Matt walked through the door, and set off down the hallway. Moments later he reached the door that separates the ministry from the civilian part of Joa. At this time of night, there were very few people mulling about. The galley was empty, so he had to fix something to eat himself. He decided to keep it simple tonight, warming up some broth, and grabbing a piece of bread he had found.

The guilt washed over him, as he thought about how Near must've fallen apart after his death. That Near's love for him was so powerful, even after the years that separated them. He wished Mello had never found him that night, coerced him, screwed him, and then got him killed.

_Is Mello even still alive?_

He knew he allowed all of this to happen to him, and that blaming anyone else at this point was futile. It was too late. Near and he were together now, and that's all that mattered to him now, even if the circumstances weren't ideal. Feeling renewed after his meal, he headed off to the handball court to let out the last of his aggression.

Olivia sat at the bedside reading a book to pass the time when she heard Near grunt quietly. Placing the book down she noticed his eyes were starting to open again. Near eyed the young girl with olive skin and long dark hair. He figured she must be in her mid-twenties, and had a look that said while she worked hard, she played hard too. She was dressed in a dark grey shirt and cargo pants, and had a lean but muscular physique. She appeared tough, almost militant, and despite her hardened appearance her voice was soft and soothing.

"Are you feeling a little better?" She asked.

Near nodded, his eyes shifting around the room, nervously.

"Where's Matt?" Near asked.

"He was a bit upset, so I told him to go for a walk."

"Who are you? What is this place?"

"My name is Olivia. I'm going to explain everything to you right now. You just need to listen to me and keep an open mind. Some of it, actually most of it can be a little difficult to swallow. I'm going to ask you a few questions first, to get some information about you."

Near nodded.

"Your name is Near right? That's an interesting name."

"It's not my real name. My real name is Nate River."

"I see, kinda like how Matt isn't actually Matt's name."

Near nodded, wondering if it was wise to tell this strange person his real name.

"What did you do before your came here? What was your occupation."

"Investigator."

"Matt said you're a genius, like a real genius."

"I suppose."

Near was visibly getting tired of the questioning, and he showed it by crossing his arms and looking to the side.

"Ok, last one for now. What religion are you?"

"None."

"Well that should make this a bit easier then. Ok, here's the deal, stop me if this becomes too much. You're on a planet called Etherine. When you died, your soul was transported here. Your body remained on Earth, just the soul came over, and your body was recreated here. All of us are from Earth, and we all got here the same way. Here's where it gets interesting. We don't know how or why this happens. It just does. There's no great god that we worship, no pearly gates, none of that nonsense. Also, not everyone who dies on Earth ends up here. We don't know where they go. We just assume that there are many planets like this and that who ends up where is just random."

Near stared blankly at her for a moment, trying to get a grip on what he was just told.

"So a person just appears here? Where exactly?"

"Well, there are two places, both on opposite sides of the planet, we refer to as the arrival grounds. The person literally just appears there, laying on the ground. Very few have ever reported actually seeing it happen. Our government has set up arrival stations next to the grounds to retrieve persons. This arrival station is called Joa, the other is called Riley."

"Where did all of this come from? It appears that you have technology similar to Earth's:"

"That is true, although no physical objects have ever come over, knowledge does. This allowed us to create a modern society using raw materials from this planet. There are a few books I can give you if you want to learn more about it. It'd be far easier than me explaining it."

"Am I correct in assuming that my ending up in the same place as Matt is a bit rare?"

"Extremely."

"How many people are here? What's the population?"

"Well, the population was about 300 thousand. However currently it's about 30 thousand."

"Why? What happened?"

Olivia sighed, this was her least favourite thing to explain to a new arrival.

"About 3 earth years ago, we were invaded by an alien race, who wanted to colonize the planet for themselves. There was massive destruction and lives lost. Etherine was a beautiful place, full of modern cities. A place where humans have learned to live peacefully, regardless of where they came from on Earth. Currently we're living in large underground complexes adjacent to the arrival stations. The aliens wont bother us in here, they allowed us this much."

Near was lost in thought after Olivia's last statement. The idea of being an underground prisoner in a strange world disgusted him.

"I suppose that's what Matt meant when he said that this wasn't exactly heaven."

"Yeah, that's what he meant. We also haven't had contact with the other station for almost a year now. Our communications have been cut off, but nobody can go and find out why, not without risk of being slaughtered."

"So we're stuck here essentially."

"Essentially yes. It's not a terrible existence though. You'll find that the complex is enormous and despite being cold and steely in appearance, is rich in culture. It's an underground city. It makes it's own power, grows it's own food, recycles the air and so on. We never had anything like this on Earth."

"How long have humans been here? How far does history go back?"

"About 500 years of recorded history. Anything before that is a bit fuzzy."

"What happens when someone dies here?"

"Same thing that happens on Earth when someone dies. We dispose of the body, and then from there nobody knows. They may move on to another realm, or maybe not."

There was a moment of silence as all this new information rattled through Near's head. He knew he hardly knew anything, but didn't even know what to ask. His normally logical mind failed against something so illogical.

"Matt tells me he believes you killed yourself." Olivia said.

Near looked away from her quickly, stunned by the question. He didn't want to be forced to confront the issue. He wasn't ready for that.

"I'd rather not talk about it. It's not something I'm proud of."

"I'm sorry for asking. But just so you know, it doesn't matter now. That's in the past. You've been given a new life, a second chance, and you're unbelievably lucky to end up with the person who loves you more than anything in the world."

"He told you a lot about me?" Near asked.

"He told me all about you. He wouldn't stop talking about you in fact. He was a mess. It was my shoulder he was crying into. He got himself killed trying to protect you, and the idea of never seeing you again crushed him."

"I know the feeling well." Near said.

Matt entered the room slowly holding a bowl of soup.

"You're awake! I brought you something to eat, if you're up to it." He said, bringing the soup to Near and placing it in his hands.

"Thank you Matt." Near said, carefully tasting the warm liquid. The taste was a strange one. Not necessarily bad, just foreign to him.

"Well I'll leave you two alone for now," Olivia got up and started to head for the door. "Feel free to come and find me if you want to talk, Near."

Near nodded. Matt sat down on the bed, not sure what to say or how to begin. He looked Near over, still somewhat unable to believe it was actually him.

"Did Olivia tell you everything?" Matt asked.

Near nodded. Finishing the last of the soup, he placed the bowl on the nightstand.

"You know, I can take you on a tour of this whole place, we can hit the library too. There's a lot of books about this place that I'm sure you'll find fascinating."

"Hold me."

"Huh?"

"I just want you to hold me. I don't want to talk. I don't even want to think. I need to be held right now." Near looked into Matt's eyes. He looked like he was holding back tears.

Matt laid down next to Near and cradled him in his arms. Near was terrified by this new world, and at that moment he felt truly lucky to be there with Matt, because he wasn't sure how he'd handle it alone.

And that was Chapter 2. I hope you liked it! I forgot to mention earlier but I created a forum for my stories if you wanted to ask me questions, tell me I suck, whatever.

I should have chapter 3 out soon!


	3. Chapter 3

Holding onto Forever 2

Chapter 3

It took an hour or two before Matt was able to sleep, his mind still tense with everything that had just happened. He worried about Near, who seemed more frightened than he'd ever seen him. If there's one thing Near fears it's the unknown. He's used to knowing everything, always having the answer, a plan. To Near this was like learning to live all over again, and while Near isn't as strong willed as Matt, he can be determined when he needs to be. If he wants to, that is.

Matt's eyes eased open to glance over at the clock. 07:30. 4 hours sleep is better than none, he thought to himself. Near was still cradled in his arms taking deep breaths, his chest rising and falling slowly with each one. So peaceful. He didn't want to move and possibly wake Near up, but he had to pee badly, and would be surprised if Near didn't have to as well.

Slowly slipping his arms from underneath Near, he climbed out of bed. Near opened his eyes sleepily, and gave Matt a barely detectable smile.

"Good morning." Matt said.

"Good morning Matt. How long were we sleeping?"

"About 4 hours I guess. How do you feel?"

"Ok I guess. I need to use the bathroom though." Near said.

"Do you think you can walk?"

"I believe so."

Near placed his feet on the ground, and climbed off of the bed carefully. His legs were a little shaky, but he felt fine otherwise. He wasn't dizzy, or disoriented like he was earlier. Matt led him out of the room. There were people walking around everywhere, everyone on their way to do something. Near took note of his surroundings. Everything seemed somewhat odd. You could tell everything was man-made. They just seemed different somehow. The walls were made out of a steely grey substance, at first it looked like rock, but had the cold touch of steel. They reached a door with a sign that said "lavatory". Matt opened the door for the both of them, but Near had to touch it. It felt like it was made out of plastic. Extremely light, however extremely solid at the same time.

"There must be some interesting raw materials here." Near said.

"Wait until you see the food if you want interesting."

The toilets were shaped normal enough, but appeared to be made out of a bluish glass. After relieving themselves, Matt suggested they go and get breakfast.

"I don't know about you but I'm starved." Matt suggested.

"I think I can eat a bit. Depends on what it is though."

"I'll find something somewhat normal for you. However I think we should get you a change of clothes. You look a little funny walking around in that gown."

Near smirked a little, looking down at what he was wearing.

"Probably a good idea."

They went back to Matt's quarters, where Matt pulled a trunk out from under the bed. He provided Near with greyish/black t-shirt and a pair of cargo pants like Matt was already wearing. The pants were a bit too long and loose around his waist, but would have to do until Near was able to get some of his own clothes.

"You seem to be in better spirits today." Matt said.

"I guess I am. I just needed some time for all of this to sink in. I'm still a bit uneasy though."

"It took me a while to get used to this too."

"How long have you been here Matt?" Near asked, cocking his head slightly, confused as to what Matt meant by a 'a while'.

"I dunno, a month, maybe a month and a half?"

"That's interesting. I died only 4 days after you did." Near said.

Matt winced a little. He didn't like hearing Near say that.

"Who knows what happens to time. C'mon I'm starved."

The two of them left the station end entered Joa, the massive underground world that was their home. They entered what seemed like a huge hallway, about 30 feet wide, 30 feet tall, and from where they were standing, you couldn't see the end of it. Matt held Near's hand proudly as they started to walk together.

Going down the middle of the hall, there were make-shift tents and stands set up. Some people were selling artwork out of them, some other's had food, books, jewellery, hand crafted musical instruments, computers, you name it. It was similar to a flea market like you'd find on Earth.

"This happens every day?" Near asked.

"Yep. Some people make their living this way."

Near looked around curiously, hoping he would find a stand where someone was selling toys. He felt Matt tug him in a different direction, and followed him through another door into the galley. The smell of food hit both of their nostrils. To Near's surprise, the smell was pretty familiar.

"Egg and toast ok?" Matt asked.

Near nodded.

"One egg please and some toast." Matt told the cook.

Near was wondering how they were going to share one egg. That is until he saw the egg. The cook opened a box and pulled out a huge yellow egg several times the size of a chicken's egg. It actually required two hands to carry as it was too big to wrap one hand around. Matt saw Near's eyes go wide.

"It's an egg from a perlo, an indigenous bird here. It's kinda like a chocobo."

"What's a chocobo?" Near asked.

Matt giggled a bit, forgetting that Near never really played video games before.

"Never mind. A Perlo egg tastes remarkably similar to what we're used to."

The cook placed the food in a tray and handed it to Matt. They walked to a nearby table, where Matt placed the tray down.

"I'm going to get us some juice." Matt said. He was back quickly with two glasses in his hand filled with a dark orange liquid.

"I' take it this isn't orange juice." Near said.

"No. But it's better. They call it a palapeo. It's about the size of a grapefruit."

Near tasted the juice. To his surprise it was fantastic, better than any orange juice he'd ever had.

"This is delicious."

"Told you."

Next, Near tried the eggs. The consistency was similar to regular scrambled eggs, but the flavour was a bit off. Near didn't mind though, as he ate a healthy portion.

"It's good that you have an appetite. Some people don't eat for days when they first come here."

After they ate Matt decided to take Near on a tour. Near couldn't believe how big the place was. They went to the library, the gym, the pub, and the common living quarters, which were huge rooms lined with bunk beds. This is how most of the population lived.

"How did you get your own room?"

"It's because of my job. I work at the ministry, so since I'm a government employee I get my own quarters."

"What do you do there?"

"Security detail mostly, and some other odds and ends. Olivia liked the fact that I'm good with computers, and they had a position to fill, so she decided to give me a shot. When you arrived they woke me up to clear the outside perimeter before they went outside to get you."

"Sounds like a lot of responsibly."

"It is, but it's not so bad. Keeps me busy. Not like there are any video games for me to play with."

Near wondered if he'd have to deal without having toys.

They went back into the main hall, walking past more vendors.

"How does one pay for goods here? Is there a form of currency you use?"

"The way I understand it is that before the attacks, the main form of currency was called 'chips'. Now that we're living in here, the essentials are provided by the government, like you cant own property, and everyone eats at the galleys, etc, but the vendors have their own economy where they take chips still in circulation as payment, since they can use them at other vendors, otherwise they just barter. Bartering is pretty big here. Sometimes you can just do some work for a vendor in exchange for goods."

Near seemed to be becoming a little less afraid of his situation and more fascinated by it. He had the urge to learn more, now that this was his new home.

As they walked back to the ministry, they ran into Olivia.

"Good to see you up and around! How are you getting acquainted with this place?" She exclaimed, smiling genuinely.

"I'm doing well I think. It's a bit overwhelming. There's definitely a lot to learn."

"I'm sure someone as smart as you will get used to life here pretty quickly," She turned to Matt, "Matt, don't forget you're on duty today."

Matt looked down the ground.

"Yeah I know."

"I think Near will be ok. Right?"

Near tensed up a bit. While he was feeling more comfortable than he was earlier, he wasn't sure he was comfortable enough to take this whole place on by himself. Matt had a job to do however, and he didn't want to be in his way. He nodded in agreement.

"Are you wearing Matt's clothes?" She asked amusedly, looking down at the legs of his trousers that were dragging on the floor.

"How could you tell?" Near replied with a smirk.

"C'mon, I'll take you to get some proper clothes that actually fit you. Matt, I'll meet you at the ops-centre after I'm done."

Near followed Olivia to the laundry room. It was a large room that had washing machines against one wall and racks of clothes on the opposite wall.

"Can I play dress up with you? I think it might be kinda fun for me." She asked playfully.

Near wasn't sure how to interpret the question but he agreed anyway. Olivia happily scoured the racks of clothes, picking out items for Near to try on.

"Go behind that wall over there and try this on." She said, handing over the clothing.

She had picked out a pair of black jeans, and a tight fitting white t-shirt, made from some sort of silky material that hugged his slender frame. The jeans were made out of an interesting material as well that was incredibly soft and flexible and had a slight sheen to them. They felt incredibly comfortable to him despite the fact that he still wasn't wearing any underwear.

He emerged from behind the wall, and found Olivia holding a pair of black boots.

"You need shoes too. I hope they are your size."

Near took them from her and put them on and then stood in front of her, arms outstretched.

"Does it look right?"

"You look fucking adorable." She exclaimed, "Matt's going to thank me. Go look at yourself in the mirror."

Near turned around and looked at his reflection. It almost looked like a different person entirely staring back at him. The boots made him both feel and appear taller, and the tight fitting shirt and jeans made him feel sexy and confident. He wondered if this is why Mello dressed the way he did.

"A new life, a new look," He said quietly to himself before turning around to Olivia. "I think they work."

"You'll probably want to grab some socks, underwear, and a few extra shirts, so feel free to look around and take what you need. I need to go back to my post. Do you think you'll do ok by yourself?"

Near was a little nervous about being left alone in this strange place all by himself, but he didn't want to be a bother to her, so he nodded in agreement. She explained to him how to find where her and Matt worked, in case he needed them, and then she left.

Near scoured the room for another 10 minutes or so, and ended up finding a pair of pajama bottoms, a few pairs of socks, and a few more shirts. Satisfied, he left the laundry room with the clothes bundled up in his arms, and brought them to Matt's quarters.

He decided to hit the library, to see how much he can learn about his new home. The library was a somewhat small room, probably smaller than the library at Wammy's House, understandable, considering the living situation. Near gazed over the shelves, before deciding on a a book called "Etherine: An abridged history for the newcomer".

Near sat down at a table and opened the book, starting right from the beginning. His mind was going back into it's normal mode, absorbing knowledge like a sponge. He got through that first book fairly quickly, and then moved onto another. Some people had entered the room, and Near paused his reading for a moment to listen to them talking, what they were talking about, taking note of any slight cultural differences, trying to learn everything he can. If he feared the unknown, then knowing everything is the only logical solution.

Near hadn't realized it but he spent 6 hours in that library, and ended up with a 2 foot tall stack of books he read next to him.

He was starting to get hungry again, but was too nervous to go by himself, not knowing what to eat. He decided to go find Matt and see when he would be done with work. He walked into the ops centre door, and spotted Matt at his terminal, speaking into a 2-way headset while typing commands into his computer. Near thought Matt was so cute, working away so seriously, that he smiled outwardly as he approached.

Matt's gaze broke from his computer screen for a moment and fixed on Near. His eyes widened as he looked Near up and down, all the way down to his black boots.

"Umm.. Wow you look hot." He said, causing Near to blush and look down.

"Olivia picked them out for me."

"I'll have to thank her. I cant wait to peel those off of you later." Matt said with a mischievous grin. If Near wasn't blushing before, he was nearly purple now.

"Matt!" Near exclaimed in a hushed tone, looking around to see who else was in earshot. Matt laughed it off, but Near actually started to get excited, thinking about Matt ravishing him later. He was starting to get aroused, and he wasn't wearing any underwear. Matt decided he'd tortured Near enough, and changed the subject.

"So where have you been all this time?"

"I went to the library. I read quite a few books about this planet. Incredibly fascinating, but I started to get hungry, and I wanted to wait for you to eat something."

Matt pushed a button on his console, and spoke into the headset.

"Guys I'm going to take a break for a moment to get something to eat, I should be back in about 45 minutes."

Matt got up from his chair and stretched his arms and back before putting his arm around Near's shoulder and leading him out of the room.

They walked together to the galley. Near's stomach was rumbling away, although he wasn't sure what he was going to end up eating. Everything there was so strange, so backwards compared to Earth. Even basic elements, like wood and metal were so totally different. While Near hasn't seen the outside yet, he could only imagine what kinds of wildlife have evolved there. From the reading he had done earlier, he learned some facts that baffled him.

"Hey Matt. Today I did some reading in the library, and this is definitely an interesting planet we have here. It's a quarter of the size of Earth for one. It has two moons, a red giant for a sun... And you didn't tell me that we're on 36 hour days."

"I was going to get to it. I didn't know how much of this bizarre shit you could handle. Although you seem to be much more comfortable."

"I'm getting acquainted, but this whole alien invasion thing does not sit well with me. I don't know we can just sit here, huddled underground, hoping they'll leave us alone."

"What else is there to do? We have no military, no weapons to speak of, and they outnumber us... a lot." Matt said.

"I suppose you're right, but this can't go on like this forever. Something's going to give eventually. I mean how does one gather food? What if we need to rebuild parts of the complex? Where do we get the raw materials if we cant go outside?" Near started to ramble, and he didn't realize it at first but he was working himself up into a panic.

"Near! Calm down!" Matt halted their progress and faced him, placing both hands on Near's neck, rubbing his cheeks gently with his thumbs. He noticed Near was hyperventilating slightly.

"We just take it one day at a time. It's ok to admit you're still afraid. I wont hold that against you."

Near nodded, taking a deep breath. They resumed the walk to the galley in silence.

The food was a variation of grilled chicken and vegetables, however it obviously wasn't chicken nor any vegetables that Near was familiar with. It was edible enough, and it satisfied his hunger, and provided his brain with the calories it needed. Matt needed to get back to his post, and Near decided to follow him to get an idea of what Matt actually does here.

Matt sat back down at his console and put the headphones back on.

"Back on the perch James." He said. Near giggled slightly at Matt's free use of whatever lingo they've come up with here. Matt shot Near a sheepish glance.

Matt typed some commands into the keyboard.

"What I'm doing here is helping them repair some of the motion sensors. Some of them got knocked out during a recent wind-storm," He then spoke into the microphone again, "I'm still not getting a signal from C-35, James."

"Does everyone have a job here?" Near asked.

"Most people don't actually. There's not enough jobs to do. So what people do instead of going mad is create. Art and music are very popular here. There's nothing else to do really." Matt replied, not taking his eyes away from the screen.

"How do you keep from going mad?"

"By doing this. Like I said, there's no video games here. Not that I've seen. I'd even settle for fucking Pong at this point." He laughed.

Near sat there and observed Matt for a little while longer. He started to get sleepy.

"Matt how much longer will you be here? I'm getting tired."

"Another hour should do it. Go ahead back to my room. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Near went back to Matt's quarters and laid down on the bed. He must have drifted off to sleep because after what seemed like a short period of time later, Matt was laying next to him.

"Is it true that you died trying to protect me?" Near asked.

"Well, that's what Mello told me I was doing. That's how he convinced me to work with him. Fucking bastard he is. I bet he doesn't even feel bad about what happened to me."

"Mello's dead. He died very shortly after you did. Takada did him in with a piece of death note she had with her." Near said.

Matt looked ahead, not sure what to say about it. There was something else Near needed to know. Something that Matt had to get off his chest.

"I slept with him."

"What?"

"I slept with Mello. The night that he brought me to LA. I was scared and confused and drunk and then he started touching me and it felt incredible. I hadn't been touched in so long. I couldn't help it. I let him do what he wanted to me. It hurt too. It was as if he was punishing me, or more likely, punishing you. I'm so sorry Near."

Near stayed silent. The isn't something that surprised him. He always figured something like this might have happened, and while in the past life he would be raging with jealousy, there seemed no purpose to the anger now. Mello was gone now. Besides, Near felt that if he hadn't abandoned Matt for those years, he wouldn't have been driven to it.

"I blame myself for what happened. I blame myself for you ending up with Mello in the first place. I blame myself for your death. I shouldn't have left you for all those years. How could I be surprised by what happened?"

"Mello said you were in danger. That you were afraid to put me in the same danger, which is why I hadn't heard from you." Matt said. Near sat up and turned to Matt.

"I was terrified. Nearly everyone in the entire room dropped dead right in front of me. I was frozen, waiting to be next. Wondering what it would feel like when my heart exploded inside of my chest. The fact that Mello was able to get that close to me..."

"Wait. Did you say Mello did that?"

Near nodded. Matt felt even more disgusted by him than ever.

"What ever ended up happening with Kira?"

"Kira's dead."

They sat in silence. Matt felt relieved getting everything off his chest, and was glad that Near didn't seem angry with him. He was still angry with himself however, but he knew he had to eventually put it behind him and move on.

"So you said something earlier about helping me out of these clothes? 'Peeling them off of me', I believe is what you said?" Near said, looking at Matt with a sultry, daring look in his eyes.

Matt felt his heart instantly skip a beat, surprised by the sudden change of subject. He knew they'd become intimate at some point, and now he was nervous, anxious. He didn't even know where to begin.

It had been so long since they'd been together, it might as well have been the first time. Near was laying on his side next to Matt with his head propped up on his elbow. His shirt stretched around his body, showing off his lithe form. The bottom of his shirt was pulled up slightly, exposing his smooth tummy, a view afforded by the daringly low beltline of his jeans, which hugged his hips like a second skin. This type of appearance was expected of someone like Mello, but this was Near, uncannily sexy and delicious. Matt thought the clothes changed the way Near felt about his image. He could tell by the look in his eye. It was a silent challenge that said 'So what are you going to do now, big boy?'

Near wrapped a lock of his hair around one of his fingers, twirling it coyly, waiting for Matt to make his move. Matt turning to face him, reached out, and slowly wrapped his shaking hand around one of Near's biceps, squeezing the muscled flesh gently. He followed with the other hand, carefully cupping Near's cheek with his palm. He slowly brought his face closer, closing his eyes as he approached, and touched his lips to Near's. It was like a surge of electricity flowing between them. Near inhaled sharply as he opened his mouth slightly, allowing Matt to taste him. Their tongues met, swirling and twisting and sliding over each other like a pair of serpents. Matt released Near's lightly muscled arm, and slid his hand under the bottom of his shirt, running his palm over the searing hot skin. Near's breathing got faster. Hearing the air rush through his nostrils, the memory of their past encounters rushed back to him. He remembered what Near liked back then. He remembered how he liked to tease Near, have him begging for it.

Matt slowly pulled Near's shirt off and over his head and laid him on his back. He feasted on his neck, making Near whimper quietly. He ran his hand up and down Near's sides, causing more sounds to escape from him. Matt was kissing his chest, flitting his tongue over each of his nipples like a snake, while working his magic with his hands. Matt rubbed his hands up and down Near's thighs, stopping just short of the hard bulge straining behind the fabric of his jeans. He started to suck at his tummy causing Near to yelp with pleasure.

Near pulled at Matt's tank top. They broke contact just long enough for Near to pull it off, before Matt attacked Near's torso again. Matt knew Near was ripe by now, as he couldn't control himself, running his hands through Matt's hair, squeezing his shoulders, anything he could get his hands on. Near needed release, the burning desire coursing through his veins like liquid fire.

Matt decided to relieve him a bit, and slowly unbuttoned Near's jeans, carefully pulling down the zipper, exposing Near's hard, pulsing cock. Near raised his hips as Matt slid the jeans completely off of him and tossed them onto the floor. Matt started kissing Near's thighs, teasing him some more. He could see the sweat building up on Near's stomach. He decided to end his torture once and for all, and grasped Near's swollen member by the base before taking it whole into his mouth.

"mmmmmm...yeah..." Near panted as Matt slobbered up and down his shaft. A familiar sensation started boiling up inside of him. He wanted to taste Matt, taste him before he let it all go inside of his mouth. "Matt... stop..."

Near instructed Matt to take his clothes off, and they rearranged themselves into the 69 position. A quivering, pulsating mass of flesh, thrusting into each other, making lewd slurping sounds and the occasional groan of pleasure. Matt used his finger to prod Near's anus gently, which sent Near over the edge. His body spasmed as he shot jets of semen into Matt's throat. Matt was already at the edge, and the salty sweet taste of Near's nectar and Near's frantic sucking and humming sent him soaring over as he shot his first load into Near's mouth, and all over his neck, face and chest as his spasming cock slipped out of his mouth. Matt sucked hungrily at Near's member as he came, trying to get every last drop out. Eventually their thrusting and jerking slowed to a halt. Matt turned himself right again and kissed Near deeply, their juices mixing together on their tongues. Near cleaned Matt up with his shirt, and pulled the blankets over them burying his face in the crook of Near's neck, their sweaty bodies clinging to each other. Near rubbed his hand up and down Matt's back until they both fell asleep.

Near had always dreamed of living with Matt, although this isn't exactly what he had in mind. Matt's assigned quarters were cold and militaristic, a narrow spectrum of greys and blacks, dimly lit, and visually barren. A steel framed bed, a simple nightstand. That was it. It reminded Near of his quarters at that military outpost in Liverpool, just as impersonal, yet Near found Matt's room warm and inviting because it was theirs.

Their routine was simple. Matt would get up and go to work, leaving Near to sleep for a little while longer. They would then eat breakfast together, and afterwards Matt went back to work while Near found some way to occupy himself. He spent a lot of time in the library, trying to soak up any morsel of information he can find. Even this bored him sometimes, and one day he decided to walk the main hall, and keep walking, all the way to the end.

As he walked the 3 mile long hallway, something caught his eye. A man was selling handmade toy robots, causing Near's toy addiction to perk up. Near looked over the figures adoringly, running a finger along each metal form.

"How much are they?" Near asked, knowing he didn't have a single 'chip' to his name.

"3 chips each." The man responded.

"Thanks." Near nodded, and reluctantly started to walk away from the vendor. He stopped abruptly and turned to face him again, remembering something Matt had told him.

"Could I work for one? Is there any jobs you need to have done?"

The man thought for a second, seeing the desperation in Near's eyes. He nodded, beckoning Near closer.

"I want you to go see a man in section cj-316 named Persius. He has some bare metal scraps that you need to pick up. Tell him that Michael James sent you, and take the bare metal to the foundry at the far east end north of the galley. The guy there already has the mold. Have him make as many bodies as you can. Then bring them to me and you can pick any one of them you see here."

Near swallowed nervously. Not that he thought he was above manual labour, he just never had to do it before.

"Ok, I'll do my best." Near said.

Near walked around the complex for a while, somewhat lost, until he found the man he was looking for. Persius was a tall and gritty looking man, the wrinkles under his eyes spoke volumes of the hard work he's endured over the years.

"Umm... sir? Excuse me. Michael James sent me to pick up some material from you." Near said.

"Ahh yes, the toy maker. I have a bundle set aside for him."

Persius handed Near a bundle of metal, wrapped in a cloth and banded together with string. It was slightly heavy, but carryable. It was a 30 minute walk to the foundry that followed. Near had to take several breaks as the weight of the scraps began to wear on him. The whole time Near was wondering how they managed to build a foundry in this place, and when he finally found the room he was looking for, he got his answer.

The setup was definitely home-made looking. A makeshift furnace sat in the middle of the room, as well as a long workbench with various parts scattered around. Near figured this is where they made spare parts for the various machinery in Joa. He handed over the scraps, and the man working there told him to come back in an hour. Near wanted to ask what fuel was used for the furnace, something he was incredibly curious about, but decided he'd research it later instead of bothering the man with questions.

He walked around aimlessly for a while, anxious as each minute felt like an eternity. Eventually he walked back to the foundry, and found the man loading up fresh robot shells into a box.

"Careful, they're still hot." The man warned Near as he handed the box to him.

Near carefully carried the box back to the toy stand and set the box down at Mr. James' feet. The man had a pleased look in his eyes.

"Good work young man. Pick whichever one you want."

Near looked at the row of robots. They were for the most part the same, just some of them were painted differently, and had a few different attachments. Near picked up the one that he seemed to like the most. It was crafted quite nicely, hand painted, and the arms and legs were moveable on metal joints.

"I like this one." Near said.

"It's yours. What's your name son?"

"Near."

"Stop by and see me from time to time Near, I may have some more work for you."

Near nodded and thanked him. Happily he returned to Matt's quarters, where he sat on the floor and played with his new hard earned toy. Lost in his own fantasies, for once he felt normal, even if it was only for a little while.

Thanks for reading! I promise things will become more interesting from here on out. Just needed to get some much needed character/environment development out of the way.


	4. Chapter 4

Holding onto Forever 2

Chapter 4

"Matt I've been doing some calculations, and it's statistically impossible for me to have ended up here in the same place as you." Near said, as they ate breakfast together on a typical morning for them.

"Statistically _improbable_ maybe. But obviously not impossible." Matt replied.

"Well that's what I'm saying. I don't believe this is a coincidence."

Matt scoffed.

"Why can't you let go of it Near? What else would it be other than a coincidence? A very lucky, very rare coincidence. Aren't you happy you ended up with me?"

"Of course I am! I just cant help analysing something like this. There's a reason I'm here. I just don't know what it is yet."

"sigh...Whatever."

Matt hated to admit it but he was starting to get annoyed with Near. He remained quiet for the rest of the meal. Near took notice of the change in Matt's attitude and it hurt him a little. It hurt Matt too, but he didn't understand why Near couldn't just leave well enough alone.

"I'm sorry Matt. I don't mean to make you cross with me." Near apologized with pleading eyes.

Matt nodded in acceptance of his apology. He knew he couldn't be annoyed for long, not after looking in those big blue eyes of his. He knew this wasn't the last he'd hear of this subject though.

Matt returned to work, and Near was left to his own devices. In the past couple of weeks he had started to do more work for Mr. James, gaining the man's trust.

"Can you paint kid?" He had asked Near once. Near was fairly sure he could handle the task of painting the toy robots. In fact he rather enjoyed placing the gentle, precise brush strokes of varying colours on the shiny metal toys. Each of the buttons, indicators and dials had a different colour. Mr. James was paying Near 3 chips per day, and while that was a sufficient sum, he didn't have work for Near every day. Near spent the rest of his free time calculating, researching. He had a new obsession. Riley, the sister station to Joa, occupied Near's head constantly. He wasn't sure what started it or why he was so fascinated with it, but he was determined to find out what it was all about.

"So what do they think is wrong with with Riley, why haven't we been able to communicate for all this time?"

"It seems like a problem with their transceiver, ether that or the aliens are blocking our signal. We just hope they're ok." Matt said.

Near continued to obsess over Riley. From what he had read it should be very similar where he lived now. It was approximately 500 miles away as well, meaning travel would be extremely difficult if they were to send someone over there to check in.

One night after he and Matt finished dinner, he started to wonder what was the outside like. What did the air smell like? What did the sky look like? He was a bit concerned because it wasn't like him to think so erratically. Jumping from one thing to another like a crazy person. He started to feel like he didn't have control of his mind anymore. He figured it might be the boredom. For nearly 5 years he worked under the most critical of circumstances, where his mind was always busy, always analysing. There's too much idle time here, he thought.

Near wandered the halls of the Ministry late one night, unable to sleep. Matt was still in bed, sound asleep. He happened upon the door to the lift. Curiously he pushed the call button and entered the doorway when it opened. Figuring there'd be no harm in looking around upstairs, maybe there'd be a window he can look out of. The door opened after the long ride to the top. Near stepped out into another hallway. This one was a bit darker. The walls were rough and jagged, and dim incandescent bulbs hung from the ceiling haphazardly.

No windows were to be found, just another doorway at the end of the hall.

_Open the door_

It wasn't so much a voice inside his head as it was an urge, like his subconscious talking to him, pressing him further. Near's hand wrapped around the door handle slowly. It wasn't locked, and started to turn as he pulled it down. The door unlatched with a "chink". He pushed the door open slowly, his anxiety level rising quickly, not knowing what he'd see on the other side.

The cool night air hit his nostrils. Near inhaled deeply, as his lungs got their taste of fresh air for the first time since he arrived. He closed his eyes, listening to the sound of the air whistling through the landscape. He took his first step carefully, the soil beneath him was hard, almost like concrete. The landscape was dimly illuminated by the eerie yellow glow of the two moons above him, but he wasn't comprehending everything around him, almost unable to take it all in as his mind was bombarded with unfamiliarity.

Near continued walking forward, driven by what could be described as instinct, that unknown urge again. He saw something in the distance, laying on the ground. It wasn't a rock, it was an animal of some sort. His heart was beating faster, not knowing what he was approaching, but he couldn't stop. As he drew closer, he spotted a human face in the object. He walked quicker and knelt down. It was a human child, probably about 3 years old, laying there unconscious at his feet. Panicked, Near picked him up, and cradled him in his arm. He looked unharmed, and he was breathing.

Near turned around to head back to the station. His heart nearly slammed to a halt as his face met another. The alien's leathery, greyish skin, beady golden eyes, and flat nose was about an inch from Near's face. The alien stood a bit taller than him, and was bending down slightly to meet him, an action that he found particularly terrifying. The alien made no noise, made no movements. It's expression was menacing, the thin line of it's mouth showing no emotion, no feeling. Near was frozen with fear, he could hear his heart pounding inside of his head. He stood there with the alien for about 10 seconds. Not sure if he should attempt to move, or speak. It just stared into Near's terrified blue eyes, as Near stared back into golden nothingness.

_Leave me alone_

The voice resounded through Near's head like he had heard it with his own ears. It was his own voice. The alien moved back slowly, never breaking his gaze with Near.

_Leave_

The alien skittered away quickly into the darkness. Near, not sure what he had just done, if he had even done it, started quaking with terror as he clutched the child to his chest. He was still too afraid to move from that spot.

The door to the station swing open.

"Near!" Matt called out, running out at full speed to him. "Near what the fuck are you doing out here?!"

Near's voice failed him. He shakily handed the child to Matt, who's eyes went wide.

"Olivia!" Matt called out. Olivia came running holding a blanket. She took the child from Matt's arms.

"What were you thinking Near?" She asked as she wrapped the child in the blanket and sprinted back to the station.

"C'mon lets get out of here." Matt said, taking Near's hand and pulling him towards the station.

They rode the lift back down to the Ministry. Near hadn't said a word the whole time. Matt was extremely concerned, looking at Near's expressionless face the whole time.

"I need to use the bathroom." Near said as he suddenly sprinted in the direction of the lavatory. He reached one of the toilets just in time as he vomited, nerves twisted into knots. Matt came in shortly afterwards, and knelt down next to Near, rubbing his back softly.

"C'mon, lets get some cold water on your face." Matt said, helping Near to his feet and leading him to the sink, where Near splashed cold water on his pale face.

"What happened? What's got you so upset?"

"I saw one of them. It was right in my face, staring right into me. I could feel it breathing."

"An alien? And it didn't attack you?"

"I told it to go away, and it did. It ran from me. I don't understand what's happening because I didn't actually say anything. It's like I spoke to it with my mind, and it seemed frightened by me for some reason."

"Why did you go out there Near? Seriously, what possessed you to do such a thing?" Matt said, his wracked nerves had him on the verge of tears.

"I don't know. I just wanted to."

Matt shook his head looking at the ground

"I'm going to check on the child you found. Why don't you head to bed?"

Near nodded, and left the bathroom to go back to Matt's quarters. Climbing into bed, he started to wonder why he did it. Normally afraid of everything, he would never thought of doing something like that before. He laid there, haunted by the cold visage of that alien, staring deep into his soul.

"So did he say why he went out there?" Olivia asked.

Matt shrugged his shoulders, the worry showing in his face.

"He said he didn't know, that he just wanted to. He's not normally like this. He doesn't' do things out of instinct. He always has a reason for his actions."

"Maybe this is just too much for him. I mean he seemed to be integrating well, but who knows what's going on deep down inside. Why don't we talk to him tomorrow? Let him get some sleep tonight, but maybe he needs us to help him."

"I just hope he's ok. I don't know what I'll do if I lose him." Matt said.

Near woke up the next morning to meet Matt for breakfast. When he got to the galley he found Olivia with him.

"How are you feeling?" She asked

"A little better. Still shaken up, but I think I'll be ok." Near asked, taking a sip of palapeo juice.

"Near, is everything ok with you?"

"I suppose. Why do you ask?"

"Because you're doing things that are extremely unlike yourself. You could've gotten killed last night."

Near stared down at this plate.

"I know I very easily could have been killed, but fortunately I wasn't. Somehow, I scared it off, with my thoughts," Matt and Olivia both looked at each other before looking back at Near. "I know it sounds crazy."

"Near you were lucky. You didn't mind-meld with the thing. You just got lucky, for whatever reason. Next time you might not be so lucky." Matt said.

"You know, when you think of this, all of this actually, it sounds like the delusions of a crazy person. Coming from one world with shinigami and notebooks that kill you, then making yourself bleed to death inside a hotel bathtub, when your soul floats to another world where we live underground, run from aliens and eat eggs the size of a footballs. Maybe I'm actually in an institution right now imagining all of this." Near was visibly getting angry, something that seemed both strange and scary to Matt. He was nearly shouting.

"Near look..." Matt was interrupted.

"No you look. I've already told you there's another reason I'm here. I'm happy I am. I love you more than anything in this universe Matt. But there was a .017 chance of me ending up here, and yet somehow I did. I don't believe in coincidences, not ones that great. I've been sent here, and I need to figure out why."

Near got up from the table without saying another word and left. Matt buried his face in his hands, and started to cry.

"He's going crazy Olivia. He's losing his mind. What do I do with him?" Matt said, his voice cracking. Olivia rubbed his shoulder, offering whatever comfort she can.

"Maybe we should talk to the doctor. Maybe he needs to be medicated."

"Noooo! I don't want that. I don't want him lying in the infirmary, drugged out of his head. I want him back, back the way I knew him! He was so sweet and warm. Now he's cold and distant, his mind always preoccupied. Fuck me man, this sucks."

"Lets keep an eye on him for a little while longer before we do anything." Olivia suggested. Both of them left the table and went back to work.

After leaving the both of them during breakfast, Near went back to Matt's room and sat on the floor playing with his robots, of which he had three now. He was confused and angry. Angry because everyone he cared about thought he was mad, and confused because he didn't know why he was feeling this way. He didn't know where the urges were coming from, but they were very real. A single thought entered his head. Riley. He knew that somehow the answer to all of this would be found there.

Near got up from the floor and went to the library. He started pouring through the books trying to find out anything he could about the sister station. Near wondered how they would get there, and more importantly how would he convince people that this is what he needed to do. Nevertheless he had to figure things out, and arm himself with as much information as possible.

Matt wandered the complex late that night, trying to find Near, who hadn't come to bed. He found him in the library, on the floor with a large map rolled out beneath him. He was thinking out loud, but it was for the most part an unintelligible whisper.. He was concentrating so hard on it that Matt had called his name twice before he noticed.

"Near! What are you doing?"

"Just passing the time. I didn't realize it was so late." Near said.

He didn't want to tell Matt what he was really doing. Matt was already worried enough, and he didn't want to add any more fuel to that fire. Matt was obviously somewhat unconvinced, as Near rolled the map back up and put some of the books away.

"I miss you. I miss Near." Matt said as he approached Near and gently stroked the side of his face.

"I'm still here Matt. I'm not losing my mind. I'm sure of it." Near responded by embracing Matt, wrapping his arms around Matt's torso. Matt rubbed his back gently as he stared off into the distance.

"Just don't do anymore crazy stuff without talking to me first."

"Fine. Hey do you want to take a shower? Together?" Near said as he pulled away from Matt's chest and looked up at him, smiling, hoping a little fun would ease Matt's mind a little.

"mmmm. You're a dirty boy Near, and I think I need to clean you." Matt said, causing Near to giggle.

They left together and went to the bathroom where the showers were. Nobody was up at this time of night, so they had the whole place to themselves. There was still the chance that someone would find them, and that for some reason made it all the more exciting for them. Matt loved every second of it, washing Near's hair, running his hands all over his soapy smooth body. Near was getting incredibly turned on, and begged Matt to screw him right there in the shower. Their moans echoed throughout the bathroom and even could be heard in the hallway. Nobody walked in on them fortunately.

Satisfied, they left the bathroom and went back to Matt's room. Both of their minds were somewhat at ease now, even though they both knew it wasn't over.

That night Near had a dream. He was walking around inside the underground station, although some things weren't quite the same. They were different somehow. He walked to their room, hopefully to find Matt, but the room wasn't there. Just a blank wall where the door normally would have been. He checked the ops-centre, but nobody was there. He decided to leave the ministry and look where the general population lived. Sprinting down the hallway, he reached the door, and froze in his tracks as he stared at the words on the door.

"Welcome to Riley station"

Near opened the door slowly and looked inside, nobody was wandering the great hall. It was completely silent. Near slowly walked down the hall, looking around curiously. He approached the door to the galley, and noticed something scrawled into the lower part of the wall right next to the door, approximately waist-height. Near knelt down to look closer.

"Olivia loves John"

Near wrinkled his nose in confusion as he pushed his way into the galley. A man was standing behind the counter wearing a chef's hat. Near approached him.

"One egg please." Near said.

"Your usual way sir?" The man replied.

"Yes please."

The man pulled the large yellow perlo egg out of the box and then cracked it over Near's head, the yellow yoke sliding down the bridge of his nose.

Near's eyes snapped open.

_Olivia loves John._ The words resounded in his head.

After verifying he was back in reality, in bed, snuggled next to Matt, he smiled to himself, anxious to see if this new information has any truth. That would be all the proof he needed.

The next morning Matt had gotten up for work before Near.

"Matt, when we have breakfast later, bring Olivia with you." Near said, his eyes still closed.

Matt was confused, concerned even. He wondered what Near's reasons were but decided not to say anything. When they had met at breakfast, Near, who was sitting across from the both of them, stopped eating for a moment and looked them both in the eye.

"I want to go to Riley." He plainly stated. Matt dropped his fork into the plate, staring back at him with his mouth agape.

"You can't be serious. Near what's the matter with you lately?"

"Matt I cant explain it, and I know it sounds strange for me to be saying this. I usually have more definitive reasons behind my actions, but there's something there that I need to find."

"What? What do you need to find?" Matt said.

"I don't know yet. I just know that I need to go there. It's hard to describe."

"Near, it's not that easy. You just cant set off to Riley. It's 500 miles away for one, and it's not safe. It's been years since anyone has tried to make that journey." Olivia said.

"I know that. That's something I'll need to figure out."

"Near, you're not going anywhere, even if I have to tie you up in my quarters. I'm not letting you go. This is getting sick Near." Matt said.

"Near, why don't we go and see the doctor? Maybe he can help you figure all of this out." Olivia said.

Near looked down at his plate, he knew this wasn't going to be easy. He decided that now was the time to test out the message in the 'vision' he had last night. He looked up at Olivia.

"Olivia loves John."

She froze in position, staring right back at him. Near could tell by the look in her face, that what he said rang true with her.

"Where did you hear that?"

"It's written on the wall next to the galley door in Riley. The lower half, to the right of the door to be exact. It looks like it was scratched into the surface, rather than painted on or with a marker."

Olivia deadpanned. Matt turned to her.

"Is that true? Near who told you that?" Matt asked.

"I saw it in a vision. And you know what else?" Near decided to take an even bigger chance, but this would really drive his point home. He thought back to his encounter with the alien. The cold, almost robotic eyes staring into his soul, and the short puffs of breath from it's nostrils on Near's lips. The fine hairs on Near's arms stood on end as he relived every moment of that experience, and then he spoke to them, the same way he spoke to that alien.

_I can speak through your mind._

Both Matt and Olivia gasped as Near sat back in his seat and crossed his arms, a satisfied smirk on his face.

"How the bloody hell did you do that?" Matt asked.

"I don't know exactly, but it was basically the same thing I did to that alien."

"I can understand why it ran away scared. It wasn't like I was thinking about you talking, it was like someone invaded me. You overrode any thought I had going on at the moment." Matt said.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be that harsh. Do you believe me now?" Near said.

Matt looked over at Olivia, who was silent, deep in thought.

"So how are we going to do this? Do you have a plan yet?" She said.

"We?"

"Yes, I'm going too, and I'm certain Matt will as well."

"There's no way I would let you do this alone.." Matt said.

Near once again, was afraid of putting Matt in a dangerous situation, but he wouldn't make that same mistake twice. He didn't argue.

"Well I've done a fair amount of research. For one we'll need a transport vehicle. I know they were widely in use before the attacks to transport mining crews from some of the far away northern areas. There's bound to be a couple of them laying around somewhere nearby. The route I'm still working on, but I think we should take the forest routes away from the cities, as the tree canopies will provide the most cover."

Olivia shook her head quickly, a delirious smile on her face.

"This is insane. Ok, Matt we should go back to the ops-centre, I'll ask around there if anyone knows of where a vehicle might be stashed."

Olivia got up from the table, but Matt stayed seated for a moment. He reached across the table and took Near's hands in his own and looked at him seriously.

"I'm trusting you Near. I have no idea what we're doing or what we'll find when we get there, but when I told you in our past lives that I would walk to the end of the earth with you, figuratively speaking of course, I meant it."

"Thanks Matt."

Matt got up from the table and left with Olivia. Energized with a newfound determination, Near set off to the library to figure out their plan.

Thanks for reading chapter 4. Things are starting to get a little sci-fi, which is fun for me since I'm a sci-fi nut. I hope you're enjoying it so far because some interesting things are going to happen. Oh and PLEASE leave me some reviews. I know you people are reading it. I can tell by the hit counter, but I need some feedback. For all I know I could be writing complete rubbish. Stay tuned for chapter 5.


	5. Chapter 5

Holding onto Forever 2

Chapter 5

Matt and Olivia were going about gathering things for the trip. Olivia had decided that it would be smartest to wear dark clothing and to bring a few sweatshirts since it was somewhat cold at night on Etherine.

"So who's John?" Matt asked, as he sorted through the racks of clothes in the laundry room.

"My boyfriend. I used live over on Riley, but came here to fill in for someone. It was only supposed to be for a week... Well anyway, me and John still used to talk daily, that is until the communications were cut. For the first 2 weeks I would sleep on the ground, hoping that I could feel him...feel something. Silly isn't it?"

"No it isn't. Love is incredibly powerful and drives us to do crazy things. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find him when we get there."

"If there's anything left there. I've considered the possibility that the whole place is destroyed that there's nothing left. For some reason though, I trust your crazy boyfriend," Olivia said, causing both of them to laugh a bit, "Hold onto him Matt. Hold onto him tight. He's special."

"I know he is."

As planned, they met at dinnertime to discuss their progress so far.

"I've gotten a route figured out. I've also consulted a few people familiar with the journey. They advised us to go this way, that there'd be very little chance of the aliens being there, as they tend to concentrate near the cities mostly." Near said, dragging his finger across the map sprawled out on the table.

"I've gotten us an extra volunteer. A guy I know named Tyron offered to come along with us. I told him we're going to attempt to restore communications between the two stations. He used to drive the transport vehicles, and knows where he left one. He's also good for some added protection. You'll see." Olivia said.

"I've gotten us some extra clothes and food to take along. I also bought some handmade rucksacks from a vendor in the main hall to carry our stuff in since we're going to be hiking for a bit." Matt said.

"By the way Matt. I spoke to the chief communication's officer and he told me to hand you this," she handed him a piece of paper with numbers written on it, "It's a list of the frequencies that they'll be monitoring for when you try to get the communications back up."

They agreed that they would leave the next night, which gave them another 36 hours for preparations and that it would be wise to keep everything a secret from the rest of the population. Matt and Near spent a lot of that time close to each other, wary of the danger they were about to endure.

Both of them were laying in bed together, with Near resting his head on Matt's lap. Two rucksacks filled with everything they would need for the trip, including Near's toys sat a the foot of the bed. They would be leaving in about an hour, and they spent that last moment together in silence, savouring each other's warmth and comfort.

"It's time." Near said.

They grabbed their belongings and headed for the ops-centre to meet Olivia.

"Good, you guys are on time. I'd like you to meet Tyron." She said.

A very large, very scary man walked into the room. He towered over them, at roughly 6'5" tall. His dark green shirt stretched around impossibly large muscles in his arms and chest, and each of his thighs were roughly the size of Near's entire torso. His angular jawline and crew cut further drove the point home. This man was a badass.

Near gaped upwards with the countenance of a small child looking up at Superman himself. The man spoke, bellowed rather.

"Pleased to meet you two." He extended his hand. Both Near and Matt apprehensively engaged him in a handshake, fearful that he might accidentally crush their puny hands. Near was the first to garner the courage to speak to him.

"Mr. Tyron, what are your qualifications for this mission, if you don't mind me asking?" Near asked, rather brazenly Matt thought.

"Well on Earth I was a sergeant in the United States Marine Corps, then after arriving here I drove the unicat for the mining crew. I also was on the front line during the first waves of the attack. While we don't have much in the way of weaponry here, I've got enough hand to hand experience with these bastards to get by, evidenced by the fact that I'm standing here at this moment." Tyron said.

"Sounds like you're definitely the man for the job." Matt said.

"Don't worry, I'll do everything I can to keep you safe. I've brought a few toys with me too which should help."

"Mr. Tyron, what's your motive behind helping us? Why would you willingly risk your life for this mission?" Near asked.

"It's been a while since I've snapped one of their necks." He said, a wide grin forming on face.

They took the lift up to the ground level and loaded their belongings on their backs. All of them were dressed in black pants and black hooded sweatshirts to keep them warm and to keep their visibility down to a minimum. Tyron had his hand on the handle to the outside door.

"Everyone ready?" He asked.

Near took a deep, nervous breath and exhaled it slowly through his mouth before nodding. Tyron opened the door. The rush of cool air hit them in the face like a splash of cold water as they carefully they filed outside. Tyron pulled a large pair of goggles with red lenses from his bag. They appeared to be homemade. He placed them on his head and flipped a switch on the side, then panned his head left and right before signalling them to continue. Tyron approximated it would be a 2 hour hike to where he believed the unicat to be. It was a long time to be out there in the elements, in near pitch black darkness, not knowing what's going to be right over your shoulder at any given moment. Near gripped Matt's hand tightly for much of the journey., a constant chill up his spine even though he wasn't cold in his heavy sweatshirt. Nobody spoke as Tyron suggested. The muted rustling of their footfalls was the only sound heard over the constant wind.

It seemed like they were walking for hours when Tyron came to a sudden halt, holding out his arm to prevent them from walking past. Everyone froze in their tracks as a rustling sound could be heard in the distance. Tyron led them off the path behind some bushes and instructed them to crouch down behind them. Near was behind Matt, and wrapped his arms around Matt's torso, clutching him tightly with his cheek against Matt's back. He could hear Matt's heart pounding with terror, as the veins in his own neck pulsed. Olivia grasped Matt's hand as she bit her lip. The rustling was getting louder, now accompanied with scratching sounds on the ground growing closer to them with every step.

Olivia's grip tightened even more on Matt's hand, causing him to grit his teeth to keep from shouting. Matt could feel Near's body shaking with fear behind him. Tyron's voice broke the silence like the blade of an axe on a sheet of ice.

"It's just a perlo."

Everyone exhaled in unison.

"Fuck! I thought I was going to piss my pants!" Matt hissed wiping a bead of sweat from his forehead.

They poked their heads above the bush to look at the strange large black bird. Near squinted his eyes a bit to see it clearer in the darkness. He marvelled at it's long neck and legs, fat round body and bright green eyes that almost seemed to glow.. It looked like it stood almost as tall as he did from his crouched position.

"_That's_ a perlo?" He asked.

"Yeah. Weird fucking thing isn't it?" Olivia replied.

Their voices startled the bird, causing it to trot away quickly making a bizarre warbling sound that faded off into the distance. Tyron pulled out a map and a penlight from his pocket and checked their progress.

"Shouldn't be much longer, 15 minutes at the most. Ok lets go people." He said.

Carefully they filed back out onto the path and plodded onwards. Thoroughly spooked, Near practically attached himself to Matt. Eventually Tyron came to a stop and looked around.

"Ok, it should be right around here," he panned his head around with the night-vision goggles, "I found it. Right under neat that brush over there. Cmon."

They followed Tyron over to a large lump under some bushes. He started clearing them away with his bare hands, revealing hard steel underneath. They all started pulling at the viney brush from different ends of the unicat, nearly exposing the whole thing. The vehicle was massive. Similar to a military tank on Earth, just with wheels instead of tracks, and no windows for added protection from the planet's sometimes violent windstorms. There was a single door on each side of the vehicle. Tyron pulled on a handle on the side of the vehicle, opening the door upwards, illuminating the ground with the ample interior lighting. Tyron poked his head inside and looked around before signalling everyone to climb inside. The inside of the unicat was roomy. tall enough to stand in (except perhaps for Tyron), and well lit with seating that ran around the perimeter, rather than traditional rows of seats, leaving a large floor area in the middle. Everyone climbed inside and took a seat on the bench while Tyron closed and locked the door behind him. The clunk of the latch allowing everyone to relax their nerves a little bit.

"Well the first hurdle's over with, lets see if we can actually get this thing running." Tyron said as he climbed upwards into the drivers compartment and slid behind the helm.

"How are you holding up?" Matt asked as he fixed some errant strands of Near's hair affectionately.

"I'm ok. That was pretty scary back there wasn't it?"

"Yeah. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. Fucking stupid perlo."Matt laughed.

Tyron climbed back down from the helm.

"Ok I had feeling this would happen. The fusion reactor needs to be re-started manually. Matt, Olivia tells me you're pretty tech savvy." Tyron said.

"I guess I am but I've never messed with anything like this before."

"Well go in that compartment over there and grab the tech manuals and see what you can learn. We ain't moving from this spot until we get this figured out."

Matt pulled out 3 large books from a compartment under the seat he was sitting on. Scratching his head, he poured over the pages trying to learn the systems that ran the unicat. Possibly 45 minutes went by of Matt quietly muttering, dragging his finger across the many pages, and the occasional "aah." escaping from his lips.

"Ok I think I've got it. But I'm going to need to go outside and open the service cover." Matt said.

"No! You're not going outside alone!" Near said.

"I'll go with him, but someone needs to grab the helm and fire this thing up when the ready indicator comes up." Tyron said.

"I'll do it," Near said before wrapping his hand around Tyron's giant forearm and looking up at him with pleading eyes, "but please watch over Matt."

"Nothing will happen to him. I promise."

They exited the vehicle together. Tyron with his night vision goggles, searching around for anything suspect, and Matt with the penlight and a handful of tools. Matt started removing a cover from the side of the unicat.

"That boy in there with the white hair...Near... He seems to care a lot about you."

"As I do for him. We were together on Earth."

"You're kidding me! Boy, you know how lucky you two are? I'd give anything to see my wife again."

Matt had his hands inside the compartment, but Tyron couldn't see what he was doing. He seemed like he was doing something though and that was all that mattered to him. The sooner they got out of that spot, the better.

"I think I got it. Just a couple more minutes."

Tyron continued looking around.

"You almost done there kid?"

"Yeah. Like two more minutes."

"Hurry the fuck up. We've got company."

Matt felt his face go cold and pale. He turned his head back towards his work, and now with shaking hands, finished putting everything back together. He breathed a sigh of relief as he heard the generators start to drone as Near started them from inside.

"Shit. I think it heard that! Hurry up with that panel!"

Matt's heart was pounding as he fumbled with the screws that hold the panel to the side of the vehicle. He finally tightened the last one when Tyron opened the door and they both clambered inside.

"Hey get out of there! We've gotta go!" Tyron shouted as he climbed back into the helm. Near hopped into the passengers seat as Matt locked down the door, "Hang on everyone!"

The unicat lurched as Tyron reversed it onto the path and then swung the front around, revealing an alien about 20 yards away, running towards them. Tyron gave it full throttle. Near was grasping the armrests of the seat fearfully as they accelerated closer to it. Near saw it stare into his own eyes through the small window before it turned around and ran away from them. Tyron followed it, growing closer every second, practically nipping at it's heels.

"What are you doing?" Near asked with a hint of panic in his voice.

"If I don't kill it, it will tell the others what it just saw." He said, as he sped up even more. A resounding thud followed by a crunch ensued as the unicat heaved slightly while crushing the alien's body. Near climbed down from the helm. He looked like he was going to be sick. Paler than usual, and his hair clung to his clammy forehead. Matt grabbed his hands to help him down and laid him on the bench.

"Take deep breaths Near. It's ok. We're fine." Matt said soothingly while gently stroking his head. Near nodded quickly as he tried to fight off the nausea by taking deep breaths. Tyron slowed the vehicle before turning around to face them.

"Let me explain something to you. If you see one of these things kill it without hesitation, because that's exactly what it will do to you. To them we're insects. Worthless. Don't feel any remorse, just do what you have to do to survive. Now can someone come up here and read the map for me so I can figure out where we're going?"

Olivia got up from her seat and joined him at the helm.

"It looked right at me. Stared right into my soul just like the other one did. What did it see in me?" Near said.

"Maybe it's because you're far less frightening to look at than Tyron?" Matt joked.

"I don't know what it is but I'll feel much better once this journey is over."

They drove uneventfully onwards for several more hours. Tyron had turned the interior lights off so Matt and Near could get some much needed sleep. Matt was sitting on the bench with his back against the wall with Near curled up in his lap, both of them sleeping as peacefully as could be allowed.

Matt opened his eyes as he felt the unicat slow to a halt. The interior lights came on, causing him to squint at the sudden assault on his eyes.

"Matt you might want to break out those manuals again. We've got a problem." Tyron called out to him .

Matt sighed as his heart sank. He did not want to go back outside for a repeat of their last episode. He nudged Near gently to wake him up.

"mmm... Where are we? Are we there yet?" Near said, barely opening his eyes to the bright lights.

"No. We broke down." Matt replied.

Near quickly sat up, his glassy eyes wide with disbelief.

"You've got to go outside again don't you."

Matt nodded solemnly.

"We've only got another hour or so go to. So lets try to make this quick." Tyron said.

Matt got up from his seat and climbed upwards into the helm where he saw a display flashing DRIVE MOTOR CIRCUIT FAULT. He got back down and opened the manuals trying to figure out what he was supposed to do.

"Ok, I think I've got this figured out. I need to look underneath the front of this thing for a wiring problem. Tyron, can you watch my back outside?"

"Sure thing. Just don't take too long. I don't want another close encounter."

Tyron opened the door before putting on his night vision goggles. He poked his head out of the opening and looked around before signalling Matt to follow him outside. Matt crawled underneath the front of the unicat and using the penlight looked around for the problem.

"I think I found the problem! The cable's disconnected. We must've ran over a branch or something that knocked it loose." Matt shouted.

"Can you fix it?" Tyron asked.

"Yeah.. I'm just having hard time...reaching..." Matt strained as he tried to reach the cable.

Suddenly Matt felt someone grab his ankles and violently slide him out from underneath the Unicat, scraping his bare back against the ground as his shirt rode up.

"What the fuck?" Matt shouted. He barely got that much out before he felt himself being lifted by his hair causing him to scream in pain. He had one fleeting glance of it's golden eyes as the alien wrapped it's skeletal hands around his neck.

Inside, both Olivia and Near heard the commotion outside. Near hopped up inside the helm and looked out the window horrified as he witnessed one of the creatures choking the life out of Matt. He had just started to make a move to go outside when Olivia grabbed him around his torso with both arms.

"No! Don't go outside!"

"Matt! Maaatttt!!" Near screamed as he flailed against Olivia's strong grip.

Matt felt his airway re-open as the hands slid away from his neck. Gasping, he refocused his eyes. Tyron was standing behind the creature who's head was now practically flopping around, it's neck broken.

"Hurry up and fix that thing kid."

Matt crawled back underneath and reached for the cable. After a bit of straining and repositioning himself, he finally had it in his hand. He heard struggling. It sounded like Tyron.

"Hurry up!" Tyron gargled as he struggled with one of aliens. Matt reconnected the cable and crawled out from underneath the unicat where he saw one of them choking Tyron from behind. Suddenly blood sprayed out towards him as a blade burst from the middle of Tyron's torso. The alien had stabbed him through the back with some type of curved sword.

"Run! Go!"

Tyron was barely audible as one of his lungs collapsed, but his message was clear. Matt was frozen with indecision. He knew there was nothing he could do to help Tyron, but didn't want to leave him. Matt finally ran off towards the door when the alien withdrew the blade from Tyron, causing his body to collapse in a heap on the ground. He opened the door and closed it quickly behind him, locking it.

Near's face shone with relief as Matt wordlessly dashed behind the controls, droplets of blood peppering his face and clothes..

"Where's Tyron?" Olivia said.

Matt didn't reply, he wanted only to get them out of there.

_Please move... Please..._

The unicat sprang forward. Matt thought he was going to be sick as he crushed both the Alien and Tyron's body beneath the vehicle's tires. They rocketed down the path without a single word between them. Olivia's voice finally broke the silence.

"He died fighting. That's what he would've wanted." She said as tears steamed slowly from her eyes.

Olivia sat next to Matt in the passenger's seat as Near sat in the back silently staring off into the distance with his feet on the edge of the seat, hugging his legs against his chest. Olivia pulled out the map and checked their position.

"Matt I think we're almost there, slow down a bit."

Matt slowed the vehicle. A few lights could be seen in the distance behind some trees. The entrance to Riley station started to become visible as they drew closer. Matt pulled up close to the building and brought the unicat to a halt.

"We made it." He spoke finally.

"Not all of us did." Near said, still staring off into nothingness. Matt climbed down and sat next to Near, placing his arm around him in a hug. Near rested his head on Matt's shoulder and let out a slight sniffle as the tears came.

"Cmon lets get out of here." Olivia said, picking up her bag. Matt and Near got up from the bench and hauled their belongings onto their backs. Matt opened the door and carefully stepped outside.

The exterior of the building looked just like the one he was used to. He also knew that more then likely, the door was locked. He pressed a button on the intercom mounted next to the door, hoping someone would be there on the other end to answer.

"Who is this?" A male voice crackled over the speaker.

"Hey let us in! We're from Joa!" Matt called out.

"What? Hang on I'm sending someone right up!"

A collective sigh formed over them as there was only a few more minutes to wait until they were safe inside. After what seemed like an incredibly long time, the door opened. A slightly portly dark skinned man with a warm inviting smile appeared in the opening.

"Well don't just stand there! Come in here!" he said, doing a double take when he saw Olivia's face. "Olivia?!"

"Murray!"

Olivia ran past Matt and Near and hugged the man, practically lifting herself off of the ground.

"What are you doing here? How's everyone over at Joa?"

"We're fine! Everyone is just fine. Everything ok here?"

"Yeah. We're doing ok. Who are your friends?" Murray asked.

"This is Matt and Near. They're going to help us get the communications back up."

"You guys must've had a hell of a trip."

"Yeah you can say that." Matt said.

Murray led them to the lift which they rode down to the rest of the complex. Matt was surprised to see that everything looked almost identical to Joa.

"I wonder if my room's even the same." Matt said.

"It doesn't exist on this station. Just a blank wall." Near said, remembering his vision.

"Well I don't know about you but I'm starved. I say we go to the galley, get something to eat and then find somewhere to sleep. Then tomorrow we'll figure out exactly what we're doing here."

They walked to the galley together. Near knelt down when they reached the door and ran his hands over the words carved into the wall, the same words that he had seen in his vision, hoping he'd find some clue as to why he had led them there. He felt nothing.

They ate silently, the emotional drain of the past few hours precluding any conversation.

"I think I'm going to go see if I can find John. I'll catch up with you guys in the morning." Olivia said after finishing her meal.

One thing they realized is that Riley is a bit overcrowded compared to Joa and they had a hard time finding somewhere to curl up for the night. They ran into Murray who offered them some blankets and some space in a storage closet. Not exactly the most lavish accommodations, but they happily accepted.

Matt laid the blanket out on the cold floor. They removed their shoes, pants and heavy sweatshirts and laid down together on their sides, with Matt spooning Near. He kissed Near's bare shoulder gently as the boy stared off into nothing.

"Matt I don't know why we're here yet."

"We just got here. Don't worry yourself to death about it. Just go to sleep and we'll figure it out in the morning."

"I love you Matt."

"I love you too. More than anything in the world."

"I thought I was going to lose you earlier, but Tyron saved your life, and even though I feel bad that he lost his, I'm glad he did. Is that wrong?"

"I don't think it's wrong to think that way. It's appreciation for what he did for us. I just hope he's happy wherever his soul ends up... that it's someplace better than this."

Near closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, hoping he would have another vision, anything to give him a clue as to what he was supposed to do next. It didn't happen, he didn't so much as remember having any sort of dream in fact. He didn't sleep very soundly either. There was just too much haunting him. Matt didn't seem to have that problem though as he snored softly into Near's shoulder.

Slipping out from Matt's relaxed grasp, Near got up from the blanket and started to put his clothes on. Matt rolled onto his back, seemingly undisturbed. Near left Matt to sleep, determined to figure out exactly why he was led here. He didn't even know where to begin as he wandered aimlessly through the whole complex. Nothing stood out. That urge, that irresistible drive that had brought him here in the first place was gone.

He returned to the closet and found Matt still sleeping. He shook Matt's shoulder gently.

"Hey Matt! It's time to get up!"

Matt groaned sleepily and turned over, trying his best to ignore Near. Frustrated, Near tickled his ribs which jolted him awake.

"Alright! Hahahah! I'll get up!"

"C'mon let's go get breakfast. We've got a lot to do today."

Matt climbed out of the blanket and put his clothes back on, then left with Near for the galley to get breakfast.

"I see you got up before me. Did you find anything?" Matt said.

"No, not yet. I don't even have a clue. I wonder if Olivia found John, because that's the only thing I can think of. I'm not sure what he'd have to do with this but his name was in my vision. Perhaps he knows something."

"I think I'm going to look at the communication systems in a little bit, see if I can get that sorted out. Do you want to help me or do you want to walk around and see if you find anything?"

"I think I'll help you. I've already been through this place and I didn't see anything. I'll wait until you're done and then we can go together. I may be missing something that you'll pick up on."

Matt and Near left breakfast and went to the ops-centre. Matt fished the paper from his pocket and started punching in the frequencies. It didn't seem to work.

"I'm going to have to reconfigure the transceiver. This is probably going to take a while."

Near followed Matt to another room filled with racks of electronics. He observed Matt, but didn't say anything. It was as if he was lost in a trance. Ever since he woke up that morning he was analysing everything and anything, assuming a clue could present itself in any form. It could be anything; a note written on a napkin or an object of some sort. Frustrated, he wrapped his hair around his finger nervously, while pacing around the room.

"Don't worry Near. We'll figure it out."

"I cant help it! I dragged us all the way here! One of us was even killed. I need to know why."

Matt dropped what he was doing and held Near at arms length. He knew when the boy was about to lose it, he could tell by a certain quiver in his voice. It was something Near himself probably didn't realize he did, and as he looked down at the ground despondently, the first tear fell to the ground.

"Hey... Don't try and bear the burden of what happened," Matt spoke to him in a soothing, hushed tone, stroking his cheeks with this thumbs gently, "We all knew what we were getting ourselves into. You'll figure it out. It'll come to you. Just be patient."

Near nodded, still looking downwards.

"You know you've definitely changed. You're even more emotional than I am." Matt teased.

"I cant hide them anymore. I used to be like a stone, shielding myself from the outside world. I just... just don't feel that way anymore. It's actually pretty liberating to cry your eyes out sometimes, whenever you feel like it."

"Well I'd like to see you do more laughing and less crying. I miss your laugh."

"One day Matt. When this is all over."

Near took a deep breath and wiped his eyes with his sleeves.

"C'mon, help me get this thing up and running." Matt said.

With Near's help it didn't take very long for them to reconfigure the station's transceiver. They went back to the ops-centre to see if their efforts were successful. Matt punched some commands into the terminal. He thought he would burst from joy when he received a reply.

THIS IS JOA. NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU.

"It worked! They heard us!" Matt shouted. Everyone came over to look at the screen. The words it displayed were simple, but meant the world to them. Everyone was cheering and high-fiving each other. Matt, with a wide smile on his face, hugged Near tightly. He thought he might've even seen Near crack a smile, if even only for a moment.

"C'mon Near, lets go for a walk. Get some lunch or something."

Feeling quite proud of himself, he placed his arm around Near's shoulder and swaggered out of the room. They went to the galley and had lunch together.

"I think we should check out the library, maybe the vendors, hell, maybe even the laundry room. There's got to be something here in one of these rooms." Matt said.

"Ok, but I think we both need a shower and a change of clothes first. I feel grimy."

"Shower?" Matt said, raising his eyebrows mischievously.

"I don't think we'll be able to pull that off again. Not in the middle of the day at least."

That didn't stop Near from driving Matt crazy in the shower though. It took all the restraint he had to keep him from ravaging Near as he watched him wash his body in a very deliberate, dramatic fashion. A devilish smirk was visible as Near looked over his shoulder at Matt who was practically drooling. Matt bit his lower lip and let out a desperate whimper as he witnessed some suds slide slowly down Near's back and down the crack of his round ass.

Matt was just about to say 'fuck it' and run his hands gently over Near's sides, since he knew Near wouldn't be able to resist, when Near suddenly turned off his shower head and walked away. Matt slapped his behind playfully with a loud "smack" as he walked away.

"That's for teasing me."

He was thrilled to hear Near's giggling echo throughout the bathroom as he walked into the changing room. Matt had to be careful how he touched himself as he finished his shower.

Feeling refreshed they walked the great hall. Near was wearing his white stretch shirt and tight black jeans, and Matt was wearing his tight black tank-top and black cargo pants.

"So where do we hit first? The library?" Matt said.

"I suppose that makes sense."

They walked to the library and searched the shelves for anything that might offer some help, but didn't really find anything useful. Most of it was copies of the same books on Joa. After that they took the long walk up and down the great hall, checking out what the various vendors were selling. Nothing. They were about to head back to the library again when Matt heard his name being called out.

"Matt!" Olivia called at him from across the hall.

They turned around and saw Olivia walking towards them, possibly happier than Matt had ever seen her, with a pretty cute guy in tow. He looked to be in his mid twenties, had a medium build, dark hair that was cropped around his ears and a goatee.

"Hey there." Matt said as she approached.

"Guys, this is John." She said.

"You found him? I'm so happy for you! Nice to meet you John. I'm Matt, and this is Near."

"Sup guys." John said.

"So what are you guys up to?" Olivia asked.

"Well we're... just looking around... at stuff."

"Oh I see. Well when you're done... looking around... at stuff, you should join us at the pub. I'd like to celebrate a little."

"That sounds good I could do with a drink or two. Sounds good Near?" Matt said.

"Yeah. I might have one... maybe."

"Oh by the way Olivia. Comms are back up." Matt said, nonchalantly brushing his fingernails against his chest.

"Fucking yes! I knew you could do it! Now we have more to celebrate." Olivia said, high-fiving Matt, "Meet you there after dinner?"

"Sure that sounds great."

Olivia and John walked away with their arms around each other. Their happiness was infectious. Near placed his arm around Matt's torso as they began to walk together back to the library.

They spent another hour or so there, but still came up empty handed. They decided to give up for the day and have dinner.

"I dunno, maybe it still is just a coincidence." Matt said, shrugging his shoulders.

"What. Me? How did I end up leading us here then? My visions, my ability to invade people's minds. That doesn't explain that."

"True, it doesn't. Maybe you're psychic?" Matt said, causing Near to laugh a bit.

"At one time I would've said you're crazy for making such a suggestion. Now? Who knows?"

They left the dinner table and headed to the pub. Olivia and John were waiting for them at the door, where the pulsing bass from the music inside could be felt. They opened the door and entered. The place was far more like a nightclub that a stodgy pub. Matt's eyes lit up in excitement. There were waves of bodies moving on a dancefloor, multicoloured strobing lights, and a DJ spinning what sounded like industrial hard trance. This was the first time Matt felt like he was on Earth since he arrived.

"This is amazing!" Matt shouted over the music.

They made their way over to the bar and ordered their drinks. The drinks on Etherine were quite potent, and made Matt nearly cough after taking his first sip. He looked over at Near who was eyeing the beverage apprehensively, since the last time he drank was the night he had killed himself. He took small sip and scrunched up his face as the liquid burned down his throat.

"I have a feeling this is going to be a long night." He said.

Some time had passed and they were all pretty pissed at this point. Matt loved every moment of how chatty Near while he was drunk. He was simply hilarious. Nearly everything coming out of his mouth had them hysterical.

"So then I told that motherfucker, 'You are Kira.', just like that. You should've seen the fucking look on his face. Then all sorts of crazy shit happened."

Matt almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. _Near cursing like a truck driver? What the fuck? _Matt decided that it might be a good idea to have Near work off some of the alcohol, besides, he might not ever get the chance to do this with him otherwise.

"Hey, Near, want to dance with me?"

"Ssshure Matt!" Near said, nearly falling off the bar stool.

Matt held Near's hand as they made their way to the dance floor through the crowds of people. Suddenly Near stopped dead in his tracks, his face deadpanned to the crowd.

"You still think it's a coincidence?" Near said.

Matt let go of Near's hand to shield his eyes against the lights, to possibly see what Near was looking at. His jaw nearly hit the floor at what he saw.

In the middle of the dance floor was a shirtless blonde haired young man wearing a pair of skin tight pants that rode low on his almost feminine hips, he was dancing, no... grinding with another guy who had spiked black hair and a sleeveless black shirt. He had one hand on the man's neck, and the other on his midsection as he stared erotically into his eyes as they gyrated to the music.

"Fucking hell..." Matt said in utter disbelief. He soon realized he was talking to himself though as he noticed Near running at top speed towards them. Before Mello had a chance to even see it coming, Near had leapt at him and smacked him hard in the face with all the strength and momentum he could muster, his eyes red with fury. He didn't even know what hit him as his body collided with the floor.

--

OK this one was a bit long. I hope you enjoyed it! Like always I appreciate your feedback. If there was something you really liked, or something you didnt, please let me know! I've got chapter 6 in the works so stay tuned for another update soon.


	6. Chapter 6

Ok, here's the sixth part of this sorted tale of mine. I'd like to thank those who have reviewed the story so far, but I need more :). Please enjoy.

Holding onto Forever 2

Chapter 6

Near landed on the floor next to Mello who was stunned, staring up at the ceiling. The music had stopped, leaving a crowd of people gathered around them, watching the whole scene unfold. Matt had made it over just in time as the man with spiked hair lifted Near by his shirt and was winding up to punch him with a tightly balled fist. He wrapped his hand firmly around the man's neck.

"You hurt him and I'll kill you," Matt said, in a very deadly tone. The man released Near quickly and held up his hands submissively, "Now fuck off." Matt continued as he pushed him away forcefully.

"What the fuck are you two doing here?" Mello said, still laying on the floor propped up on his elbows, a droplet of blood running down his cheek from his nose.

Matt held Near around the waist as he tried to lunge at Mello again.

"Like you should be the one to ask that question! You fucking bastard!" Near screeched as he struggled against Matt's restraint.

"Near. sshhhh... calm down." Matt whispered into Near's ear softly, soothing and calming him.

Mello stood up slowly and brushed the dirt from his pants. Matt had noticed that the scars that once marred his beautiful face and body were gone, leaving nothing but flawlessly smooth skin in it's place.

"How the fuck..." Mello said, staring at Matt and Near.

"Hey can you guys take this somewhere else?"Someone had called out from the dance floor.

"C'mon, lets go to the bar and sort this out." Matt said. Mello started following Matt and Near from the dance floor.

"Mello! Wait! What about me?" The spikey haired guy said.

"Didn't someone just tell you to fuck off?" Mello said to him as he walked away.

The music had started again as the crowd filled up the gap their incident created. Matt found an empty round table next to the bar where the three of them sat down. Mello took a napkin from the centre of the table to wipe the blood from his face.

"Nice shot." He said, glancing towards Near, who just glared back at him without saying a word, "I guess your little showdown with Light Yagami didn't work out too well, huh. No? Not going to say anything to me?"

"What, should I fucking thank you? Thank you for this?" Near said.

"Well I know how Matty got here. I already apologized to you for that."

"Yeah I got the text message." Near scoffed.

"So how am I responsible for you ending up here?"

Near didn't dignify his question with a response. One simple fact, an instinct if anything loomed in his head. Mello was what he was sent here to find.

"Matt, _He_ is why we're here. It wasn't an object we were supposed to find. It was _him."_

Matt placed his face in his palms and shook his head, trying to hold back laughter.

"So now that we found him, what are we supposed to do with him?

"Would someone tell me what the fuck you're talking about?" Mello barked.

"It's a long story Mello. It's the kind of long story that I need a drink in order to tell, and you'll need a drink in order to listen. I'll be right back. Try not to kill each other." Matt said, getting up from the table and heading for the bar where Olivia and John were sitting.

"Who's the hottie?" She asked.

"Don't ask. Lets just say that Near found what he was supposed to find here."

"Huh?"

"I'll explain later. I need to get back there before Near finishes what he started on the dance floor."

"That fight... That was you guys?"

"Yeah. Crazy huh?"

Mello sat across from Near with not a word spoken between them since Matt had left for the bar. Mello eyed him up and down admiring his appearance.

"You know, that look works really well on you. I never thought you could look so delicious."

Near wasn't going to take the bait, and alarmingly beautiful as Mello was, he didn't dare look in his direction. That didn't stop Mello from trying though as he leaned in closer.

"I wonder what sounds you'd make as I run my tongue all over every inch of your body, what my name would sound like moaning through those sweet pink lips of yours."

Mello sat back and laughed, satisfied with himself. Near couldn't understand how Mello could find amusement in this situation while he sat there smouldering with hatred for the blonde. All the pain of everything Mello had put Near through was brought back to the surface. Near stared hard into Mello's eyes and used his newfound ability to get his point across.

_Don't fuck with me_

Mello's laughing instantly stopped. His mouth hung open, an expression of shock and confusion on his face.

Matt returned to the table with 3 drinks in hand. He sat down and took a good long sip. He began to tell the story about how Near was discovered in the arrival grounds, his strange abilities, and how he led them to where they were now. Mello seemed to be feeling the gravity of the situation and became a bit more serious.

"So what you're saying is that some...thing has brought us together? For what exactly?" Mello said.

"That's the thing. We don't know." Matt replied.

"Well whatever it is, it has a sick sense of humour. You of all people." Near said.

"Hah! I thought you didn't hate me Near?"

"Are you kidding me? I have every reason in the world to hate you now. You...completely... RUINED me! You ruined everything! From day one that's all you wanted! You left me to fill L's shoes all by myself, you killed nearly my entire investigation team, and then you took the only person that I've EVER loved, fucked him, and then got him killed! And then there I was, alone, with nobody to help me deal with the crushing anguish I felt. Nobody to watch over me to make sure I didn't hurt myself. Well I couldn't handle it." Near verbally exploded, with angry tears pouring down his reddened cheeks.

Matt leaned over and rubbed his shoulder affectionately, but didn't make any attempt to silence him, knowing that this something Near needed to get off his chest. Mello looked down at his lap. Matt was surprised to see his face showed something you nearly never saw on Mello. Remorse.

"Yes that's right. Kira didn't kill me. I did. So ask yourself. Do you still have a reason to hate me? Haven't you done enough?"

Mello stayed silent for a long moment, continuing to look down. He eventually looked up, but with not with a sorrowful gaze. His face wore a veil of sarcasm.

"Ok. We're even then."

"You really are a twat Mello." Matt said.

Near had nearly finished his second drink, and the room was starting to spin wildly around him, the music haunting him like swirling echo. His body swayed as he tried to focus on Matt's face.

"Near are you ok?" Matt asked.

"No. I don't feel good. I'm fucking done with all of this." Near said, swinging his arm around at nothing in particular. Matt got up from his bar stool, and helped Near to his shaky feet.

"We're not done here Mello. Be at the galley tomorrow at 11:00 so we can sort this out." Matt said.

Near was tripping over his feet, his balance was so far off that Matt had to carry him from the club.

"Why? Fucking why did this have to happen Matt? For once I was happy to have you without him in the way fucking it all up!" Near said in between sobs, almost incoherently.

"Near. Now's not the time to think about it. You're drunk. Too drunk. Lets just get you to sleep and we'll talk about it tomorrow when your head's clear."

"You had better get me to a bathroom first. I really don't feel good."

Mello sat at that table long after Matt and Near left, staring at his drink. Every one of Near's tear soaked words ringing through his head like a song that wouldn't leave. He knew he couldn't understand the kind of pain the boy had felt, and was feeling now because he'd never loved like he did. Mello realized everything that had happened was all for nothing, had gotten him nowhere. On Earth he allowed his jealousy for Near to consume him. He made it his life's mission to best Near, and for what? Where did that get him? It landed him here, where he was empty and alone... and sorry.

Near was right. Mello didn't have a reason to hate him anymore, and Mello knew it. And the deeper he searched within himself, the more he realized that the burning hatred he once harboured for Near, was always hatred for himself. He knew it the moment he found himself lying on his back on that dance floor, staring up at Near's tortured eyes. He deserved that. Instinctively he protected himself from vulnerability and carried on being complete tosser as Near wore his bleeding heart on his sleeve, but the words tasted fake as they leapt from his normally sharp tongue.

Near was in pretty rough shape as Matt carried him from the bathroom to their makeshift bed. He was barely conscious, save for the occasional unintelligible mumble. Laying him down gently on the blanket, he removed Near's pants and vomit stained shirt before settling down next to him. He kissed the back of Near's neck gently, staring at him as he slept.

Near woke up to an awful hangover the next morning. His stomach still felt like it was inside out, and his head was pounding.

"Near. Wake up. How are you feeling?" Matt said as he gently shook his shoulder.

"Terrible. Why did you let me drink so much last night?" Near said, shielding his eyes from the light.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. You really cant hold your liquor can you?"

"I guess not."

"Near, do you remember last night?

"Yeah, I remember. I hoped it was a dream."

"Listen I'm going to go wash our clothes and then meet Mello. You should sleep for a little while longer." Matt said, gathering their dirty clothes in a bundle.

"I don't plan on moving from this spot for a while."

Matt kissed Near gently on the forehead and then left the room, turning the lights off. After dropping the clothes in the laundry, he went to the galley to see if he could find Mello. Matt knew he would have to try his hardest to stop himself from hitting Mello, considering his behaviour last night. Matt found him sitting down at a table, already finished with breakfast, waiting. Matt sat down across from him and started to eat his own food.

"Where's Near?" Mello asked.

"Sleeping off a hangover. Not like you actually care. "

Mello stared at his plate for a moment, knowing what he needed to say next. He'd been preparing for it all night.

"I'm sorry."

Matt looked up to meet the most sincere gaze he'd ever seen from Mello.

"Say what?"

"I said I'm sorry. For everything."

"You had better tell Near yourself. You had better apologize for every shitty thing you've done to him. And you had better apologize to me too."

"I'm sorry Matt."

"And what are you sorry for? I want to hear you say it."

"I'm sorry for manipulating you. I'm sorry for hurting you and getting you killed. I'm sorry for spending almost my whole life consumed with being better than him, and when I couldn't have what he had, I destroyed everything. Well that didn't work and now we're all here. I don't want to make the same mistake twice. I just don't care anymore."

"Well it's going to be a while before I can ever trust you again, and I don't think Near ever will."

"I figured as much."

"Now onto the next issue. Exactly why are we all here?" Matt said.

Matt saw someone walking towards him out of the corner of his eye. He turned his head and saw Near shuffling towards him with his eyes half closed. He sat down next to Matt at the table and laid his head down on his folded arms. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this terrible. Matt rubbed his back slowly as he quietly moaned.

"I'll be right back." Mello said and got up from the table.

"What did he say?" Near asked, mumbling into his arm.

"He apologized, if you could believe that."

"Hrmph."

Mello sat back down and placed glass of brown liquid on the table and slid it in Near's direction. Near picked his head up from the table and eyed the glass curiously.

"It's a little cocktail I made up for when I overindulge myself like you did last night. It helps."

"It better not be poison." Near said as he tasted the beverage. Fortunately it tasted better than it looked.

"Near, I've been a real bastard to you over the years. You didn't deserve it. I'm sorry."

Near looked down at the half drank glass for a few moments.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to forgive you. But thanks for apologizing." Near said.

"I think that's about the best you're going to get Mello." Matt said.

Mello nodded in comprehension. He already started to feel better, even though the apology felt awkward leaving his lips. Near finished the drink Mello had made for him and slid the empty glass towards the middle of the table

"Did it help? Are you feeling a bit better?" Mello asked.

"Amazingly yes. Not perfect but at least my head isn't pounding anymore."

Matt and Near decided to go finish the laundry and then take a shower, then meet up with Mello afterwards in the library, to see if they could figure out what had brought them together.

"Could it be...God?" Mello asked.

"I don't know Mello, I have a hard time believing that." Near replied.

"Well who else could have control over something like that? Where your soul goes? Near what did you do with the death note?" Mello said.

"I burned them. Why, do you think someone wrote all of this in a death note? I don't think it's that powerful."

Mello shrugged his shoulders. They were getting nowhere and the frustration was starting to show. Matt suggested that everyone needed time to clear their heads. Matt and Near took a walk to kill some time and hold hands together, just to forget everything that was going on at the moment. By the time they had gotten back later that night, Near was feeling much better than he was this morning, and was in the type of good mood that only Matt could bring out of him. A bit tired, they crawled into their makeshift bed together, the heat from their warm bodies shielding them from the air in the cold room.

"You know, I have a feeling everything will just come to you, like it always has. You shouldn't put so much pressure on yourself to figure this out."

"I know. I'm just impatient. I hate waiting for things to just come to me. I''m also surprised Mello actually apologized to me."

"Yeah, well I don't know how much I can trust that. I say we keep him at arms length and see how he behaves. C'mon let's go to sleep, I'm tired,"

"Good night Matt."

"Good night, Near."

Darkness was all Near could see, save for a faint glow in the distance. The air was hot and musty, making his back sweat as he trudged along in the darkness.

"Hello? Anyone there?" He called out, only to be answered by his own echo.

He rounded the bend where the light seemed to be coming from, he could almost see it now, flickering in the distance. Continuing down the corridor, he could see the flame clearer now, and he could see the light dancing on a wall behind it. It was a dead end. Drawing closer he started to make out someone. Mello was sitting on a wooden bench which was situated against a stone wall, his blonde hair sparkling in the flame's light.

"Mello? What are we doing here?" Near asked.

"Waiting."

Mello gestured at Near to sit down next to him. Near sat and stared ahead at the fire pit situated in the middle of the room, noting how the fire didn't make any smoke. Near felt Mello draw closer to him, his blonde hair brushing his neck as Mello took Near's ear into his mouth gently. Near's first instinct was to shout, to push him away, but he quickly became powerless to the incredible sensation. He immediately felt himself get excited as Mello pulled Near's shirt off, and started using his fingers to rub his chest and tease his nipples.

"mmmmmmaaahhh." Near moaned softly as Mello expertly teased Near's neck and shoulders with wet kisses. Near was fully powerless now. He wanted Mello badly. He started squeezing Mello's arms, feeling the strong hard muscles inside. He pulled at Mello's shirt, desperate to tear it off of him if he had to. Mello broke momentarily in order to take his clothes off, leaving him standing fully naked in front of Near, who was staring at his incredible body hungrily. Near unfastened his trousers and slid them off. Both were naked now, their erections pointed outwards at each other, begging for attention.

They pressed their bodies together as they kissed, Mello's tongue forcing itself inside Near's mouth as Near pushed back with his own. Mello's erection was pressed up against Near's belly, leaving a trail of thick pre-cum as they moved around. Mello picked Near up and laid him back down on the bench and started to kiss his chest, sucking on the smooth delicate flesh, moving slowly downwards to his stomach leaving a trail of saliva. Near's cock was aching to be touched, teased, sucked... anything. Near buried his hands in Mello's hair, pushing him lower. He had closed his eyes, so he didn't know what was happening at first when he felt another pair of hands on his shoulders. He looked up, and panicked as he saw Matt's face looking down at him.

"Matt!?" Near pushed Mello away and stood up. He didn't know what to say, but didn't think Matt was angry by the look on his face. He noticed Matt was naked as well. Both of them moved closer to Near, who soon felt hands all over him. The sensation was incredible. 2 pairs of hands rubbing all over his body. He closed his eyes. He was nothing but putty now for them to do with what they wanted. They led him back to the bench, and placed him on his hands and knees. He felt Mello's finger lubing his hole while Matt drew closer to his mouth with his hard cock. Near happily took it into his mouth, and started sucking at it lovingly as Mello pressed his nicely sized organ against Near's entrance. Near relaxed himself, trying to let Mello in, but he was very tight. Mello pressed onwards, making Near groan at the discomfort. His moans grew louder as Mello pushed further in, the vibrations from Near's mouth adding to Matt's pleasure. They picked up the pace, settling into a constant rhythm as Near was fucked from both ends. Matt and Mello arched over Near's body and kissed, using their hands to rub Near's body below them.

Matt was the first to cum, his rhythm becoming erratic as he felt the orgasm make his entire body swell with pleasure. The first load splashed against the back of Near's throat which he swallowed hungrily, but the second and third were too much and spilled from his mouth, dribbling down his chin. .

Mello was pounding into him harder than ever, moaning deeply as he filled Near up with his nectar. Both of them pulled out of Near, and while his body felt used and abused, he ached for release. They flipped him over onto his back, then Mello took Near's oozing cock into his mouth, all the way down until he buried his nose in his pubic hair. Near's body jolted with pleasure as he lifted his hips, fucking Mello's face frantically, right on the edge of explosion. Right before he came though, he was distracted by a sign on the wall, barely visible in the dim light. Although he could barely make it out, it read 'Caern Medical Pavillion'. His mind was about to start automatically analysing it but his libido refocused his attention.

"Mmmmmm... Mello... I'm comi...nnn...ggg."

Near grabbed handfuls of Mello's hair and pulled himself deep inside as he shot volley after volley of sperm into the blonde's mouth. He started to feel disconnected, like the room was spinning. He tried to say something, but nothing came out, not until his eyes snapped open.

"Mel..." Near said as he sat up sharply. He soon realized it was just a dream, and that Matt was still sound asleep next to him in their bed. Near ran his hand through his hair, trying to make sense of what he had just dreamt. He was horrified at the thought, Mello and Matt doing that to him, but some part of him liked every minute of it. He was even more horrified when he realized that his underwear was soaked.

_Oh you've got to be kidding me._

Near carefully slid his legs out from inside the blanket, trying not to wake Matt. He slid on a pair of pants and shirt and left the room quietly carrying an extra pair of underwear. He walked into the bathroom, noticing the lights were already on. He entered one of the stalls and cleaned himself up as best he could, before putting on the fresh pair of underwear. He heard a noise in the room, and knew someone else was in there with him. Trying to appear as normal as possible, Near left the stall and went to the sink to wash his hands and splash some water on his face. He heard another stall door open and then footsteps. Near froze when he saw Mello approaching one of the adjacent sinks through the mirror.

"What are you doing here?" Near asked nervously and probably a bit louder than he intended. He was afraid to look Mello in the eye, afraid he might still be in a dream, a false awakening. He was also afraid the mere sight of Mello might get him excited.

"Just went for a slash. What's gotten into you?" Mello replied, with a confused look on his face.

"Oh...Me too." Near replied, looking back down at the sink.

"Right... Well, I'm going back to bed now." Mello said, holding a leery gaze at Near as he walked away.

Near returned to the room and carefully slid back next to Matt who was still in a deep sleep, trying not to disturb him. A few hours later Near woke up by himself. While he was getting dressed Matt came into the room.

"Hey. Good morning. Do you want to go for breakfast?" Matt said.

"Sure. I could use something to eat."

When they had gotten to the galley they found Mello sitting inside by himself reading a book. After getting their food, they sat down next to him and started to eat.

"You know, I was at the library earlier and I started to wonder. Maybe what we're looking for isn't actually here. Maybe it's somewhere else. There's lots of cities on this planet." Mello said.

"Well we cant exactly go wandering around alien infested cities trying to find something, especially when we don't even know what we're looking for." Near replied.

"Yeah. I know. It could be anything from a grocery store to a school, or even a medical pavilion for instance."

Near's eyes sharply snapped to Mello's.

_Did he just say medical pavilion? Nobody says the word pavilion casually, unless they've heard it somewhere._

Near took the book from Mello's hand and looked at the cover.

'Caern- a tourists guide'

His face turned beet red. He turned his head to look at Matt, who looked equally shocked. That confirmed it for Near. They had shared the same dream. Near threw the book back onto the table disgusted and got up, storming from the galley.

Matt and Mello looked at each other, not sure who should speak first or what should be said. Matt's first instinct was to run after Near, but decided to give him his space.

"Not much to be said about it is there." Mello said, looking down at the table.

"Well, I guess we can assume we know where to go now."

"Did you like it?" Mello asked.

"I don't know. It was a dream. I woke up all sticky from it."

"Hah. You too? I think Near did as well. I saw him last night in the bathroom, probably went to clean himself up like I was. He looked like he saw a ghost when he saw me." Mello chuckled.

"It's not funny, Mello."

"Like hell it isn't! Maybe not to you two but to me it's hilarious. He's a pretty good lay, your boyfriend..."

Mello was cut short as he received a faceful of palapeo juice. Matt slammed the empty glass onto the table and got up.

"Yeah, you're real fucking sorry." Matt hissed at Mello before walking away.

The closet they slept in was the first place Matt checked to find Near, and as expected he found him there, sitting on the floor playing with his toy robots. He didn't look up as Matt entered the room. Matt sat across from him on the floor.

"It was only a dream, Near."

"Easy for you to say, you're not the one who was getting it from both ends, screaming out his name."

"You couldn't control it. None of us could."

"Matt I was fairly lucid in that dream, I'm pretty sure we all were. We did what we wanted to do." Near looked up from the toys and locked his gaze with Matt's.

"So you liked it? It's okay if you did." Matt asked.

"Yes. I did."

"I liked it too. It's amazing what you'll let yourself do when you think it's not reality isn't it?" Matt replied, trying to rationalize their behaviour. They both sat there in silence for a while, with Near pushing one of the robots around with his finger.

"So now what? We have to find this medical pavilion I assume?" Near said.

"Yeah but how? The place has to be crawling."

"I don't know exactly. I suppose that's something we'll have to research."

"Obviously we have to include Mello." Matt said.

Near sighed. He didn't even want to face the blonde, but knew he wasn't going anywhere and that he was a part of this situation, whether he liked it or not.

"Yeah. Lets go find him."

They roved the complex until they found Mello at the library, with several books laid out in front of him. He didn't even look up as they approached.

"You're not carrying any beverages are you?" Mello asked.

Matt and Near sat down across from him.

"Can I help you?" Mello asked.

"We need to figure this out together. We need to come up with a plan."

"By all means then, here." Mello replied pushing some of the books in their direction.

They spent several hours at the library going over maps, information on the city, trying to come up with a safe route. Near remembered how difficult Mello was to work with.

"But Mello, if we take the route you're suggesting, that makes us vulnerable from several sides. It makes far more sense to take the valley. It keeps us less visible from a distance and will trap the sounds we make."

"And it'll take us three times as long. We need to do this during the night remember. If we break daylight we'll have to hide and wait for 36 hours before we can go again." Mello replied.

"But I think you're wrong. At the very worst we'll reach the outskirts of the city at the beginning of the sunrise. At that point we can just go underground and take the sewers."

"Hah! You can take the sewers yourself then." Mello scoffed.

"And what will you do if you're attacked? Offer it a blowjob?" Near replied, visibly getting angrier by the moment.

"You didn't seem to be complaining last night," Mello threw his voice as he imitated Near, "Mello! I'm cum...ming!"

Near grabbed Mello by the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards the centre of the table.

"You know I hit you once already, and I'll do it again." Near said sternly.

"And I'll hit you back this time."

"Enough! Both of you!" Matt shouted, grabbing Near's wrist and prying his hand from Mello's shirt, "This is getting us nowhere! I say we take Near's route. Now you're outnumbered two to one."

"Fine. You can do this yourselves then." Mello said, standing up.

"You're not going anywhere Mello. You're very much a part of this, as much as I'd rather it not be the case." Matt said.

Mello looked downwards at the ground for a moment, realizing Matt was right.

"When are we leaving?" Mello asked.

"Tonight at sunset. We have to act fast to make our preparations."

The three of them departed the library, and went to prepare for the journey. Matt and Near started packing their belongings.

"I'm scared Matt. We almost didn't make it the last time." Near said.

"We're going to have to be more careful. I'm going to go over the unicat to make sure it doesn't break down on us again."

"I hope that this is the last puzzle and we finally figure out what this is all about." Near said.

"Me too, because I'm starting to feel like someone's toying with us."

Near and Matt ran into Olivia in the hall while carrying their belongings on their backs.

"Hey guys! Where are you going?" She asked.

"Caern. That's what the last vision told us to do." Matt said.

"Wow. Don't you think that's a little dangerous? Who's going with you?"

"Mello. The blonde that Near knocked out at the club the other night." Matt said with a smile, putting his hand on Near's shoulder affectionately.

"I wont ask." Olivia said.

"You can come too if you want."

"I think I'm going to stay here with John. Please be safe guys." Olivia said, hugging Matt and then Near tightly.

Near and Matt left Olivia in the hallway and took the lift up to the ground level. As they walked through the door to the outside, they found the unicat exactly where they had parked it. Matt opened the door to let Near inside, before entering himself and closing the door behind him. Near sat down on the bench while Matt poured over the service manuals, trying to figure out what he should check to ensure they didn't have any problems on the way.

The door opened suddenly, startling them. Mello looked inwards at their surprised faces.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Get inside you dope! Close the door!" Matt said.

Mello entered the vehicle and closed the door behind him, unloading his belongings from his back onto the floor. Matt spotted the butt of a handgun shoved in his pants by the small of his back.

"Where the hell did you get that?" Matt asked.

"Oh this? I had it made. After so many years of working with the mafia, I didn't feel right not having one." Mello said, as he pulled the gun out and pointed it at nothing in particular, squinting his eye as he mock aimed.

"Well that's good. Put it away now." Matt replied.

After Matt was satisfied the unicat was in good enough shape for the journey, they set off into the night. With Matt at the helm and Near next to him in the passenger's seat, Mello sprawled out on the bench to get some sleep.

It was a long journey, but for the most part had gone as planned. Matt and Mello had taken turns driving while the other had slept. Near tried to keep his mind occupied with his robots and drawing occasionally. He had wished he brought some books along.

"Matt. I have to use the bathroom." Near said.

"Right now?"

"Yeah I have to pee pretty badly. It's uncomfortable."

Matt stopped the unicat and turned off the lights. Near opened the side door and let himself outside, relieving himself against the side of the vehicle.

"Mello, go check on him." Matt said, still seated at the helm.

Reluctantly Mello got up from his seat and headed outside. He stepped out onto the ground and gasped at what he saw. An alien had Near pinned against the side of the vehicle by his neck, his eyes were wide with terror. Mello averted his eyes downwards and watched as the alien withdrew a large curved blade from Near's stomach, before letting him collapse to the ground.

Mello pulled his gun out from the small of his back and fired a round into the creature's skull, causing fragments to fly in every direction. From inside Matt heard the shot and clambered down from the helm and raced outside. He saw Near laying on the ground, his white shirt stained red around his midsection.

"What did you do!" Matt shouted at Mello, pulling the gun from his hands and shoving him against the side of the unicat.

"It wasn't me Matt! Look!" Mello pointed at the alien corpse on the ground, the bloody blade resting next to it.

"No! Please no! Near!" Matt cried as he knelt down next to Near, picking his body up in his arms and carrying him inside.

"Mello! Drive!" Matt shouted as he placed Near on the floor inside the Unicat. Mello closed the door behind them and dashed up to the helm, accelerating violently.

Near coughed feebly, still alive.

"He's still alive! Mello there's blood everywhere!" Matt cried as he pulled his shirt off and pressed it into the wound on Near's stomach, trying to slow the bleeding.

"Mmmm...Mmaatt." Near said quietly, a trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth.

"Near! Please don't leave me! Please fight! We're going to try and get you help! Please don't die! Please! I cant live without you again!" Matt was crying hysterically as the tears fell from his eyes, mixing with the blood.

The feeling of death crept up around Near like a shadow. He knew the feeling well. He wanted to scream, to cry, to fight it as hard as he could, but he was too weak.

Mello drove the unicat as fast as it would go. While he listened to Matt cry over his lovers body behind him, a single tear rolled down his cheek where nobody could see it.

--

Yep... another cliffhanger. Cant help myself sometimes... :) I'm writing chapter 7 as we speak, so hopefully you wont have to wait too long to find out what happens next. Poor Near...

Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Okie.. here's the 7th installment. I initially planned on it being longer but decided to cut it short and save the rest for the next chapter. I felt bad leaving everyone hanging on such a cliffhanger for so long. :) Enjoy!

Holding onto Forever 2

Chapter 7

The unicat barrelled across the field before turning onto an empty highway. Mello gritted his teeth as he drew closer to the city in the distance, a map balanced carefully in his right hand.

"Oh God. Mello, he's dying!" Matt cried out behind him.

"We're going to the medical pavilion. Hopefully we can save him. Hang in there Near!" Mello replied.

Matt stroked Near's face gently while pressing his balled up shirt against the stab wound. Near's eyes started to flutter and roll back into his head.

"Near! Stay with me! Do you remember the CD I gave you that time, when we met in the middle of the night? Did you listen to it?"

Near refocused on Matt and nodded his head shakily.

"Evv...every...day..."

"And I do believe it's true  
That there are roads left in both of our shoes  
But if the silence takes you  
Then I hope it takes me too  
So, brown eyes, I'll hold you near  
Because you're the only song I want to hear  
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere"

Matt sang softly to Near, his throat tightening as his voice threatened to crack. His words held Near's attention, one of his eyes welling up with tears.

"Matt we're here!" Mello called out.

Mello stopped the unicat and carefully stepped over Matt and Near to open the door. He poked his head out to clear their safety.

"C'mon Matt, lets get him in the building."

Matt lifted Near up from the ground, holding him close to his chest as he carried him outside. Panic raced through his mind as he felt Near's body go limp in his arms. He placed him gently on the ground and knelt down next to him. Matt placed his ear to Near's chest and sobbed as he heard his heart beat for the last time, leaving a deafening silence in it's wake.

Matt felt a crushing anguish like he had never felt before. His insides felt like they were turning inside out. He wanted to die right there feeling the warmth leave Near's body. Matt heard a shuffling sound next to him. He hoped it was an alien. He wanted to be killed. He wanted to take the one in a million chance of ending up with Near again.

A pair of white sneakers with shoelaces untied and dragging on the ground shuffled into his view. He slowly lifted his head and rose to his feet with his blood covered arms outstretched, his shaky palms facing up. His mouth was agape as he stared at the thin pale man with black unkempt shoulder length hair and dark circles under his eyes. The man was taller than Matt and Mello, but his hunched posture had him at eye level with them. They stared at him in disbelief.

"L." Matt's voice quivered.

L didn't respond, but looked down at Near with melancholic eyes. He bent lower and scooped Near up in his arms like a saddened angel descending from the heavens. L looked like he was going to shed tears himself as he held Near's lifeless body. He turned away from them and walked towards the building.

"Follow me." He said as he pushed the door open with his foot and walked inside.

Matt and Mello followed L inside and immediately recognized the room as the one they were in during that dream. The pit of fire was replaced by a centrepiece with dead flowers, there was actual light in the room highlighting faded stained walls, and the sign Near had seen.

"Wait here." L said, as he carried Near down a corridor.

"Are we safe here?" Mello asked.

"Yes, we're safe." L replied, disappearing into the darkness.

Matt sat down on the bench and cried into his hands, the blood smearing on his face. Mello approached him and rubbed his back as he rocked back and forth, sobbing uncontrollably.

"I think it's going to be ok Matt. L is going to help. I don't know how, but he is."

"This cant be happening... Why didn't I go outside with him? I let this happen. I let him walk into a trap..."

"Shhhhh... C'mon, lets go get you cleaned up. You're a mess."

Mello helped Matt to his feet and led him to the restroom where to his amazement, the plumbing still worked. Mello used a wet towel to wash the blood from Matt's hands, face, and body, as he stared off into the distance, his reddened eyes glistening in the fluorescent lighting.

"I want to go see him. I need to know if he's ok."

"Matt, why don't you lay down for a little while..."

"No! I need to see him! I cant just sit here!" Matt broke down again. Mello wrapped his arms around him as Matt cried into his shoulder.

Mello led Matt from the bathroom back to the lobby. He started hyperventilating as they approached the bench. He thought he was going to be sick. His legs were getting weaker, unable to support his weight as Mello strained to hold him. Mello set him gently on the bench where he passed out.

"Matt!" Mello called out to him, slapping him in the face lightly a few times. It was no use. Matt was out cold, unable to handle the gravity of Near dying in his arms.

"Fuck!" Mello shouted as he kicked a chair over.

L reappeared from the shadows of the darkened corridor and typical for him, his expressionless face told no tales.

"L. What happened?"

"Near will be ok. I had to call in a few favours from the shinigami realm, but he will be fine. He's recovering."

Mello's eyes widened. The mere mention of the word made his blood turn cold.

"Is Matt ok?" L asked.

"He couldn't...he couldn't handle this."

L shuffled over to Matt who was passed out on the bench. He bent down slowly and stroked Matt's auburn hair with his long slender fingers. Matt stirred a bit and then awoke with a start when he saw L's face.

"Wha?!"

"Near is fine. You can see him if you want."

Matt sat up quickly. His body was still shaking due to lowered blood pressure but he used every bit of energy to get to his feet. They followed L into the darkness, reaching a closed door. L turned the handle and opened it flooding them with fluorescent lighting. Near was laying on a bed inside, his shirt still bloodied. He was unconscious, but occasionally arched his back and gritted his teeth, apparently still in a good deal of pain.

Matt rushed to his side, and held his hand gently.

"He's in a bit of pain. Unfortunately there's nothing that can be done about it, but it will subside soon." L said.

Matt lifted Near's shirt and was surprised to see that the wound was closed, and while the area was still a bit bloody, the wound looked like it already started to heal.

"Matt." Near said, biting his lip and gasping.

"Near! Are you ok? How are you feeling?"

"Like my insides...are on fire.".

"Squeeze my hand as hard as you have to. I'm not leaving your side. I thought I lost you, I never want to live through that again. " Matt said holding Near's hand to his lips, kissing it softly.

Near's grip on Matt's hand became much firmer, almost to the point where it hurt, but Matt wasn't going to complain, even if Near broke every bone in his hand.

"L. How long have you been here? What's going on? Did you lead us here?" Mello asked.

"I did. I suppose I have a lot to explain," L said, pulling up a chair and sitting, drawing his knees close to his chest, "We, as in the four of us, are not like typical humans."

"Yeah, we've been beginning to notice this."

"You're not from Earth either. At least that's not where your souls originated from. We are members of a highly evolved human race from the world Lithia, a race that has mastered control of matter and energy in a way no other has. Do you realize that your average human only uses 10 of their brain? Did you ever wonder what capabilities were unlocked inside? It's been discovered that the human brain can master matter and energy. So thousands of years ago, the ancients used this ability to ensure the soul, which is a form of energy itself, would stay alive, by transporting it to other worlds which they had created."

"I don't understand. Are you saying we are this highly evolved as well? Have we always been?" Mello asked.

"Let me explain. Did you ever wonder why none of you have a recollection of your childhood before you came to Wammy's house?"

"You had always told us that the mind blocks out traumatic events, and that's why we couldn't remember."

"We were sent to Earth as sentinels, problem solvers, and none of us were aware of it at the time. In fact the only active sentinel who was aware of the situation was Watari. That's why he created Wammy's house. He knew he was getting older, and that he needed a successor. So they had sent me. Then one day he had brought you three home."

"How did we get there? As far as I've read there aren't any arrival stations on Earth. Everyone here thinks of Earth as the beginning place." Matt said.

"Oh but there is one, and we lived only about 30 miles from it."

"Stonehenge?!" Mello said.

L nodded.

"So how did you receive instructions? How did you know what to do? How did Watari know what to do?"

"The same way you were lead here. We're capable of communicating with each other's minds. Not in the way you're probably thinking. I cant read your thoughts..."

"Well that's certainly a relief." Mello said, thinking about the dream they had shared.

"The way it works is you implant a thought seed. It's a idea that manifests itself differently depending on the receiver. That's how Near was led to Riley station to find you Mello. Another thought seed brought you here."

"I can...talk to people with my mind..." Near said, still fighting the horrible pain of his injury.

"Near, you seem to be a bit more advanced in your abilities. It's not understood why, however one thing is certain. The three of you together are special, gifted with unimaginable power. That's why the ancients chose to have all three of you here at the same time. It's not normally something that happens."

"Why are we here? What 'problem' are we supposed to solve."

"The alien infestation."

"How the bloody hell are the three of us going to wipe them out? They're slaughtering us one by one!" Matt asked.

"The three of you together are capable of mind control, meaning you can actually enter the mind of a subject. This is a capability the ancients instilled in you from the beginning, it was just switched off essentially, until now at least."

"We're...soul mates?" Mello asked.

"That's one way to look at it."

"How are we going to control the minds of every alien here? That sounds dangerous and time consuming."

"You go straight to the source. Let me explain something about this race, the Sinthorians. Our history is filled with unpleasant encounters with these beings. They're a collective, meaning they communicate mentally with each other. That's how they receive their instructions. In the centre of all this is the hive mind. Everything about them, including their technology is organically based. You'll need to go to the hive mind and poison it's thoughts. That's the only way to stop them."

"I couldn't imagine how any of this even works. How are we supposed to do it? I've never invaded anyone's thoughts before, let alone an alien being's."

"You'll have to practice. On me. But not now. Lets begin another time. Near needs his rest."

"I'm staying with him." Matt said.

"As you wish, " L said, standing back up and leading Mello from the room.

"Think there's room in there for me?" Matt asked, taking his shoes off and crawling into the bed with Near, who moved over to let him in. Matt wrapped his arms around Near and held him tightly, kissing the top of his head gently. His body was still quivering and jolting occasionally.

"Matt... It...hurts..." Near cried.

"Shhhh...It's ok. You'll be ok." Matt said softly. He pulled the blanket over them and turned the light off, holding Near tightly and never wanting to let go ever again.

Mello followed L into the lobby. He felt years of pent up emotion boiling to the surface, he didn't know where it had come from, just that it was bursting at the seams. He grabbed L's arm and turned him around to face him.

"What troubles you Mello?"

"I must be a huge disappointment for you. After Roger told us you had died I lost it. I allowed myself to go on a self-destructive path driven purely by anger. After I left Wammy's house I prostituted myself for money. When I got to America I murdered my way into the mafia, then I had the Death Note, which I used to cause more death, and then desperate, I used Matt and had gotten him killed. I've become everything you would've hated, and I hate myself for it." Mello ranted.

L embraced him awkwardly as Mello had begun to cry, placing a hand on his back as Mello wrapped his arms around L's neck.

"Ultimately my failure is what caused this to happen, but what's done is done. You still have a chance to become a better person." L said.

"I've missed you so much. I miss our long talks, I miss the way you would comfort me. You were the only one who could prevent me from losing control of myself," Mello pulled away from L and let his hands fall to his sides, staring at L with glassy red eyes. "Do you still love me?"

"I still love you. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you Mello. I'm sorry I couldn't be there for all of you. But you need only yourself now."

"All I've had is myself for the past 5, 6 years, and I know that I choose my own fate... I just needed to hear that you love me, because nobody else does."

Mello averted his eyes to the ground as they shared an uncomfortable moment of silence.

"I need to secure the building. Why don't you get all of your belongings from the vehicle outside. There's a room you can sleep in."

Later that night Mello laid awake staring at the ceiling for hours. It felt good for him to spill his guts to his long lost mentor. It was as if a weight was lifted from his shoulders, the first step to improving himself, however a lot of it brought unpleasant feelings to the surface, reminding Mello of the things he had done of which he was less than proud. He couldn't sleep though, not with certain words resounding through his mind.

_I still love you_

The idea. The concept. He almost forgot what it felt like to be loved. It was so long ago, and his experiences over the years made it seem even more distant. Even though he had only heard those words moments ago, he felt cold, colder than ever. He thought about Matt holding Near through the night, providing comfort and warmth as his nearly destroyed body painfully heals itself. Mello needed that warmth. The type of warmth only the love of another can offer.

_I still love you._

The words still echoed through his mind, and after hours of debating, tossing and turning in that frigid bed, he stood up. His bare feet were shuffling quietly on the tile floor as he reached for the door handle wearing nothing but a pair of tight black boxer briefs. He entered the hallway and walked the short distance to the next room and opened the door. Quietly Mello entered, hearing nothing but L's deep breaths as he slept. He made his way over to the bed and stared down at L's peaceful features. He was deep in sleep, unaware of Mello staring down at him, hesitating. Mello grabbed the blanket and slowly pulled it back, revealing L, fully clothed sleeping on his side. Deciding there was enough room next to him, he slowly climbed into the bed, taking care not to disturb him.

As he settled in with his back facing L, barely touching him. There it was. The warmth. It was flooding him. He laid there for a while enjoying it, listening to each of L's deep breaths.

_He loves me_

He heard L shift, and suddenly felt long slender fingers caress his side, reaching over to his stomach, pulling him closer in. He nearly gasped out loud, surprised by his touch. L's hot hands felt wonderful on his bare skin. Mello was frozen, not sure if it was an involuntary action or otherwise. He was frightened, wondering how L would react if he realized what was going on at that very moment.

He felt something on his back, when it pulled away it felt cool. L was kissing Mello's back gently between the shoulder blades. His heart was racing. The kisses became more deliberate, moving onto his shoulders as L's hand slowly slid upwards to his chest. Mello was getting aroused now, L's gentle touches driving him wild with desire. Slowly L's hands slid downwards to Mello's underwear and began to slide them off.

Mello had decided to act for the first time since this began. With his underwear around his thighs, he turned around to face L, meeting his beautifully dark eyes. Not a word was said before their lips met. It was as if electricity was flowing right to his very soul. L's kiss was wonderful, gentle. Their tongues met and slowly danced on each other causing Mello to whimper quietly. Mello ran a hand underneath L's shirt, placing his palm on his chest, feeling L's heart pounding. They broke away for a moment.

"Are you comfortable with this?" L asked.

Mello responded by diving back onto L's lips, kissing him harder than before. They were getting frantic, their touches getting stronger and more deliberate. Their heavy breathing and the sound of skin sliding on bedsheets was the only sound to be heard in the room. Piece by piece, Mello had removed all of L's clothing. His body was hot to the touch...steamy. He clung to the taller man like it was his life, with L's rock hard member pressed against Mello's stomach. He ran his shaking hands over L's back as L feasted on Mello's neck. Slowly L turned Mello by the shoulders onto his side, facing away from him again. He used one of his legs to spread Mello's apart slightly. Mello was a bit frightened about what was about to happen, but would do anything for L, the one who loves him. L used some saliva to lubricate Mello's entrance, before pressing slowly against it with his hardened member.

"Mmm...aahhh!"

It had hurt a bit more than he expected. While Mello wasn't able to see it in the dark room, it felt big when he had touched it. L brought his hand to Mello's mouth, sliding his fingers in between Mello's teeth.

"Bite."

Mello gently clamped his teeth onto L's hand, but bit down harder as L pushed more of himself into Mello. Mello growled in pain, realising he was biting a bit harder than he intended as the salty tang of blood met his tongue. L kept pushing himself further into Mello until he was all the way inside of him. Mello was breathing hard through his nostrils, trying to cope with the feeling of L stretching him without biting any harder on his fingers. A tear streamed down his face and onto the pillow. L withdrew slowly from Mello allowing some relief and then started pushing back in, his hardness rubbing against Mello's prostate causing waves of pleasure to overcome him. He released his grip on L's fingers slightly, allowing some of the blood to trickle down his chin.

Mello was aroused beyond belief. With the taste of L's blood in his mouth he moaned out loud as L continued to fuck him from behind. L removed his still slightly bleeding hand from Mello's mouth and wrapped it around his aching cock. Mello jolted from the sensation and moaned deeply as L started stroking him. L was placing more kisses on Mello's shoulders, starting off gently and increasing in intensity as he started to suck on Mello's body hungrily savouring the taste of Mello's sweat, leaving a thick trail of saliva in his wake. He was getting closer to release. This wasn't something he'd ever imagine himself doing to Mello, not in his wildest imagination, but it was almost impossible to resist. Mello was so delicious, so sensual. He wanted this almost as much as Mello did.

L let out a quiet grunt as he climaxed inside of Mello, plunging as deep inside of him as he could while continuing to stroke Mello to ecstasy.

"mmm... uhh... Deeper. I want you deeper... Ughhh!" Mello cried out as came, his semen making a sticky pool on the bedsheets. For the first time he can remember he felt truly loved.

L withdrew himself from Mello's sweaty, panting body and turned to lay on his back.

"Are you ok with what just happened?" L asked.

Mello took a deep breath. He was still laying on his side, sore from L invading him. He contemplated everything that happened for a moment and decided that he was happier than he'd been in a long time. Even if it were just for a fleeting moment, he felt that void filled inside of him.

"Yes. I'm happy. Can I stay here with you tonight?"

"Yes, I'd love to have you stay."

Mello rolled onto his back and nestled against L, the warmth from their naked bodies shielding them from the cold air in the room. He usually never cuddled with a partner after sex. Usually he'd get up and walk away, go home or just retreat to his side of the bed. This felt more right to him than anything he'd ever done, and even though he knew it probably would be the only time he and L would ever share each other this way, he was going to savour every moment of it.

* * *

Yep... Just goes to show that there's no limit to my depravity :) Yes that was indeed some LxMello action going on there. Not something you see happen every day. Was it a little gratuitous? Maybe, but I couldn't help myself. I hope you did enjoy this one because Chapter 8 is going to take a while to complete since it's damn hard to write. So please be patient, and please review!

Oh and special thanks to my friend Matt for helping more people find out about my stories. I love you Matt! If you don't know who he is check him out here www. fanfiction. net/u/1036563/. He writes some pretty incredible stuff.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

The next morning L and Mello awoke together and carried on as usual, with nothing being said about their encounter the night before.

Mello was surprised to see Near in much better condition than he was. Gone were the tremors of agony as his internal organs reconstructed themselves. He was sitting up in bed, alert, with Matt at his side.

"I'm a bit sore. Like somebody punched me in my gut, but I'm feeling much better." He had said.

L was pleased to see that Near was going to make a full recovery. No one could be more relieved than Matt, who still wore Near's blood.

"I don't think it will even leave a scar!" Near said, lifting his shirt to reveal smooth undamaged skin.

After a few hours of being awake, Near decided to leave his bed. Matt helped him to his feet, as it was still a bit difficult to pull himself, but soon enough he was standing on his own.

"If you're feeling up to it, we should begin your training. It doesn't require much physical activity." L said.

"I think I'm ready."

L sat in a chair, in his typical position, with his knees drawn to his chest. The three of them had gathered around him.

"Until you're more experienced at this, infiltrating the mind requires physical contact. Eventually you'll be able to do it without touch, just being in close proximity is good enough," L held out his arms, "I want all of you to wrap your hands around my arms."

Matt and Near grasped L's right arm with both hands as Mello took the left.

"Now close your eyes. Rely on your mind's eye. Try and clear your mind of any random thoughts, you should just see and think of nothing. I know it's difficult. Try and relax." L said, waiting a few moments for them to clear their thoughts, "You should feel the presence of each other within your mind. It's not easy to describe, but the feeling should be unmistakable. Now I want you to imagine me. Provide yourself a mental picture of me."

Guys_, are you seeing this? _

_Yes Mello. I can see L. He's winking at us. Do you see it?_

_Yeah I see it too. _

"In case your were wondering, I am in fact winking my left eye. If you can see that then that's a good sign that things are working correctly. Now I want you to mentally project yourself towards the image of myself. It's easier to do than it is to describe."

Suddenly they had felt a rush as the image of L swirled. A feeling of motion overwhelmed them even though they were still standing still. All consciousness of the real world was cut off as they entered L's mind.

Near found himself laying on his back. The ground was soft. The air was cool and crisp. A strange clicking sound could be heard in the distance. He opened his eyes to a grey, somewhat digitized looking sky. He sat up quickly to take in his surroundings. It was desolate. A desert of grey spongy soil, stretching far towards a narrow white horizon. Nothing else could be seen in any direction.

_Matt? Where are you?_

_You're not going to be believe this. I'm in a candy factory. Where are you?_

_I'm not sure. I don't see anything. Mello?_

_I'm talking to bloody Light Yagami, in French, if you can believe that._

Near stood up and looked around for anything. There wasn't a single useful feature to be found in the landscape. He started to walk, figuring he may find something beyond his field of vision. He hated being alone in situations like this. His body tightened and started to feel cold as fear of the unknown gripped him.

Suddenly the clicking sound had gotten louder, but it seemed to be coming from behind him. He continued walking forward until the sound was nearly deafening at this point. Fearfully he turned around, and stepped backwards as what appeared to be a dragon, made out of some sort of metal, loomed over him. The creature bent down lower to Near, it's ice cold breath blowing strands of his hair around.. Near fell on his rear end and started to clamber backwards, foolishly trying to find escape where there was none.

"Please don't hurt me... You're not real... Please..."

The creature let out a deafening screech, leaving Near's ears ringing. He stopped in his tracks, to terrified to move. The dragonesque monster extended a talon, grabbing a hold of Near like an insect he wanted to play with. Near felt a rush of wind and his stomach drop out as the creature lifted him high above the ground, drawing him closer to it's face. Thinking quickly, Near leapt from it's hand onto it's face once close enough, and kicked it's left eye as hard as he could.

The sound that emanated from it was indescribable. Near placed both hands over his head as he felt himself falling, bracing himself for impact with the ground. Suddenly he felt different. The ground was was beneath him again but under his feet, and the screams started to sound more human. He opened his eyes, and saw L screaming at the top of his lungs. His overall expression was normal, aside from his mouth being wide open, eyes deadpanned straight ahead. Quickly he released his arm, and started to feel dizzy. The screams stopped. Matt and Mello were now conscious again, watching Near start to fall to the ground, trying to brace himself against the bed.

"I'm sorry L. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it." Near said in between breaths. He started to wretch slightly as waves of nausea overwhelmed him.

Matt quickly released L and bent down to check on Near. His forehead was clammy, several strands of hair sticking to it.

"It's ok Near, you didn't mean it. But you can see how powerful this ability can be." L said, his voice surprisingly calm.

"Mello can you get him some water?" Matt said.

Mello left the room and returned a moment later with a glass of water. Near drank it slowly, unsure if he could hold it down.

"I need... I need to lay down. I'm not up for this yet." Near said.

Matt picked him up and placed him back in the bed.

"C'mon, lets let him sleep."

They left the room and turned out the light. Near was already asleep before the door had closed behind them.

After a few hours worth of sleep Near left his bed and entered the lobby where he found L, Matt and Mello talking, He stayed silent for a moment to listen to their conversation.

"How are we supposed to use this ability to 'poison their thoughts'?" Matt asked, sitting down on the bench.

"You turn them against each other," L said, sitting down across from Matt, in his usual awkward posture, "That's the only way to defeat them."

"This sounds difficult." Mello chimed in.

"Yes, it will be. You're not thinking of it the right way though. You're not going to try to convince them to turn against each other, you're going to literally make it happen."

"Kinda like a virus infecting a computer network?" Matt said.

"That's one way to look at it."

Matt placed his fingers lengthwise on the bridge of his nose as he tried to wrap his brain around the idea.

"There has to be thousands... tens of thousands of these beings..."

"Well you're not going to attack them one by one. Attack the hive mind first, the rest will fall into place. Remember the hive mind controls them."

"I think the biggest question, is how are we going to get into the hive mind in the first place." Near spoke finally, standing at the edge of the hallway, leaning against the wall.

"Near!" Matt said, getting up from the bench and sprinting towards him, "How are you feeling?"

"Better. I'm actually quite hungry." He said.

"I think I saw some ramen cups in the pantry. I'll go fetch you one." Mello said, getting up from his seat.

"Thanks?" Near said, surprised by Mello's sudden generosity.

Matt led him to the bench where they sat down together across from L.

"To answer your question Near. Very carefully. I think your best bet is to drive the unicat right into it. There isn't any evidence the Sinthorians have much firepower handy against a vehicle like that. At least it would take them some time to mount an attack against it, and by that time it would be too late. However once inside you'll need to act quickly."

"Can't we just destroy the hive mind?" Matt asked

"No that would be a very bad idea. Without any sort of central control, the Sinthorians could send this planet into a state of complete anarchy. We might actually be worse off that way, and then we'll have to go to war with them as individuals. You cannot destroy it under any circumstances. It's a tool for you to use."

"I'd like to practice again soon." Near said.

"Are you sure you're up to it?"

"I think so. I'm feeling pretty good actually, just really hungry."

Mello returned with a steaming styrofoam cup in his hands. He handed it to Near, who thanked him before starting to carefully eat the hot soup.

"Is it good? I don't know how long it's been there." Mello asked.

After the salty broth hit Near's tongue, he started eating faster, until he was practically inhaling the soup. Noodles were dangling out of his mouth as he looked up at them.

"This is probably the best soup I've had in my life. I've never been this hungry before."

"The type of healing your body just went through consumes a lot of energy. It's no surprise you're that hungry. Unfortunately there's not much else in the way of food here. I personally would love a piece of cake right now." L said.

After Near finished his meal they went back into the other room to being practice once again. This practice session went better than the last. They were able to maintain control without causing any undue stress on L.

Matt strangely found himself in the very place he was standing. He was inside the adjacent hallway, looking in each of the rooms. Exactly what he was looking for he wasn't sure, but he figured there had to be some significance of this place to L. After checking 2 rooms, he moved to a third. His hand was on the door handle, and about to turn it when he heard a sound. It was sex. The unmistakable sounds of someone in the throws of passion. Matt wasn't sure if he wanted to see what was happening inside. He was going to walk away, but he heard some familiarity in the voice inside. It was a certain unmistakable lusty voice.

"Sod it" He said to himself as he turned the handle and opened the door. He held the door open for a few seconds before closing it again. He had seen enough.

_Guys I'm going to break away for a moment_

With that he returned to his own consciousness. He released L's arm, and looked around him. Near and Mello were standing opposite each other with their eyes closed, grasping L's arms, who stared straight ahead expressionless.

"Hey Matt can you hear me?" L's voice said, startling Matt and making him take a step back, and while it was definitely him speaking, the inflection in the voice did not sound like L's.

"Who's this?"

"It's Mello. What caused you to break away? You feeling alright mate?"

"See if you can find a hallway, that looks remarkably similar to the one here. 3rd door on the right." Matt said.

There was no response. Matt knew immediately that this wasn't some fantasy he'd witnessed. Mello knew exactly what Matt was talking about. He sat down on the bed and watched Near with fascination while he stewed thinking of the memory he just stumbled upon. Near looked almost the same as when he was dreaming. The occasional twitch here and there, same peaceful expression. Matt always thought Near was beautiful when he was sleeping, and this was no exception, except this time he was standing up.

After a short while Near broke away first followed by Mello. Near seemed to lose his balance for a moment as he swayed, bracing himself against the bed.

"Think you need to lay down?" Matt asked.

"Please." Near said, carefully making his way onto the bed, laying down and closing his eyes.

"This session went well. Next we should try actual forms of control. It's a skill you'll all need to complete your mission properly." L said, leaving the room.

After Matt finished pulling the blanket over Near, tucking him in gently, he turned to lock eyes with Mello.

"Figures." Matt said, before looking away again.

They both left the room and turned the lights off and shut the door behind him. Matt twirled Mello around to face him in the hallway

"So L too huh? Is nothing sacred?" Matt said.

"Matt. It's not... it's not how it seems. It just kinda happened."

"Things like that kinda seem to just kinda happen when you're around."

"Um... He came on to me. But that's ok. I wanted it to happen." Mello said, Matt wasn't quite sure how to respond so he said nothing. "Matt. He loves me. You don't understand how much that means to me. You have someone who tells you that every night. You have someone to hold at night and share your feelings with. You know what it feels like to be one with someone else. I never have. I have never heard the words 'I love you' before."

Matt started to notice how different Mello seemed at this point. Gone was the angry fire constantly smouldering inside of him, the emptiness that devoured his soul. He was content, relaxed, even if talking about this made him slightly uncomfortable.

"Do you love him too?"

"I do. I always have."

"So that's it? You two are an item now?"

"I'm not sure. I cant help but feel that this was a fleeting encounter. I would really like it though. I would really like to be with him... to have what you have."

Matt paused for a moment. Looking at the ground, thinking of how his life would have been if he didn't have Near. If Near never showed up here. He realized that he may have ended up being very much like Mello, enough to actually scare him.

"I'm happy for you Mello. Maybe this is what you needed all along." He said.

"Thanks."

Bouyakasha! That was chapter 8. I kinda cut it short, since I know I'm taking a long time and wanted to publish _something._ I just get distracted easily and this upcoming part is something I'm having trouble wrapping my brain around. Don't despair. I'm working hard at it. Just not when I should be LOL. Of course please review. It makes my world go around and it actually gives me the drive to keep going!

Oh and special thanks to my friend Matt for helping more people find out about my stories. If you don't know who he is check him out here /u/1036563/. I love you Matt!


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Matt's footfalls echoed on the damp cavern walls as he shuffled closer to the light. It wasn't the flickering light that intrigued him so much as it was the faint crying sounds in the distance. The darkness surrounded him like a cold blanket, gripping him with it's icy claws. His back was tight, his skin taut. He was on edge, never knowing what he was lurking towards, or what might be lurking behind him. He didn't know how he had gotten there, other than the fact that he'd been walking for about 10 minutes in one constant direction, an eternity to someone this isolated.

The cries were louder, more recognizable. They were human.

_Near?_

He stopped for a second to analyse the sounds scattering on the rocky structure. Even his own sharp breaths drowned the cries out. It couldn't be Near he decided. Near had a somewhat high, dainty voice but not to this degree. It sounded like... a child.

The potential of a child being in peril drove Matt onwards, a bit more fervently than before. His careful shuffle was replaced by a fast paced trot on the tips of his toes, bounding along the cavern. He rounded a bend, where he saw the light from a fire flickering on the grey stony walls. A small boy, was facing a fire situated at the mouth of the cavern. His shoulders quivered with each sob.

Matt approached carefully, not wanting to frighten the already distraught child.

"Hey." He said quietly, kneeling downwards to the boy's level.

The dark haired boy quickly turned around to face him, he looked to be about 8 or 9 years old. His face was pale. His eyes were dark and wet with tears, a few strands of black hair fell around his forehead. He stiffened with fear as Matt approached. This boy was familiar. Matt nearly fell over when he realized who he was looking at.

"My name is Matt. What's your name?" Matt said, the gentle tone in his voice made the boy relax a little.

"L...Lawliet." The boy whispered between sniffles.

"Why are you here? Why are you crying?"

"My...my family... The monster hurt them." Lawliet said, turning around to the opening of the cavern. It was somewhat dark outside, and Matt couldn't see what, if anything the boy was pointing out. There did appear to be some random objects on the ground in the distance, but it was impossible to tell what they were.

"What monster?" Matt asked.

"The monster that's controlled by the white one. It's his pet."

"Who is this white one?"

Matt's question was cut short by a deafening screech from outside in the distance. Lawliet clasped himself around Matt, burying his face in Matt's shirt.

Matt stood slowly, holding Lawliet tight to his side.

"Lets get out of here. We're sitting ducks."

Matt walked slowly with Lawliet outside the cavern, looking around carefully. He then also took notice of the objects strewn around the ground, once unrecognisable from inside the cavern. They were body parts, shredded, bloody and torn. It was Lawliet's family, no doubt. He placed his hand over the boy's eyes, shielding him from the horror, while carefully stepping around the randomly placed gore.

He needed a destination, a safe place to run. There was a rock face about 100 yards to his right, and figured he could dash behind it. He started to turn in that direction, but was met by resistance from Lawliet, who was pulling him away.

"What's the matter..." Matt was drowned out by the screech again, which obviously was coming from that direction, likely behind the wall he was about to run towards. He froze, staring intently. The screeching settled down to a dull roar, a chill went up his spine as he thought of what possibly could make a sound like that.

He turned in the opposite direction, and ran, holding Lawliet's hand, dragging him along. He was trying to get as far away as possible before the _thing_ emerged from the shadows. He tripped, and and both of them tumbled to the ground. Matt had landed face down on the silty ground with Lawliet next to him, facing upwards. Matt felt a small hand grasp his shirt frantically, almost taking some of his skin with it. Matt turned his head and saw a gaping steel grey maw descending towards him. He turned around quickly, sitting up on his hands. The dragon wailed again, forcing the two males to clasp their hands over their ears, for fear of going deaf. The sound could be felt in their chests almost as strongly as it could be heard.

The dragon closed it's mouth, leaving a chilly silence behind. Matt looked around for an escape, as futile as it seemed at the time. His eyes focused on a white figure behind the creature. His eyes were dry, and he blinked a few times, squinting to focus.

_Near?!_

Near stared back with a pained expression of disdain in his eyes. His look in his eyes was indescribable. Black with hatred, his lips pursed.

"Near! What...what are you doing?!" Matt cried out.

Near angrily extended his arm and pointed in Matt's direction. The dragon responded by lowering it's head inches from Matt's face. He could feel it's cold breath on his cheek, making the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. Lawliet was shaking, hiding his face behind Matt's shoulder.

"Why?" Matt whispered. He hoped his voice wasn't too loud, afraid of what might happen next. His heart clenched, wondering why the person who he loved more than anything in the whole universe would threaten him in this way.

"Don't you DARE." Near replied, with a voice unlike anything Matt ever heard before from him. Matt gasped at the words.

Near stared at the man laying on the ground beyond the demon which was under his control. He wasn't sure what the creature was to him, he figured it was a figment of his subconscious. But he was glad for it's presence. His stomach turned sour as he stared at the person who he hoped he'd never lay eyes on again.

"How arrogant of you to show your face to me again. Why did you come here?" Near growled.

The man cowering on the ground moved to speak, but broke into a single terrified sob as a simple tightening of Near's arm muscles caused the monster's blood stained steel teeth to part, gently scraping it's bicuspids along his cheek, leaving a light trail of blood in it's path.

"One fucking move. One fucking word out of you, and I'll have it tear your neck from your head...Kira."

Light's eyes bulged with surprise at the words.

"I'm not... I'm not... It's me! Near! It's ME!" He stammered. His jaw was shaking as he fought to get the words out.

Near cocked his head and narrowed his eyes menacingly. He clenched his fist, causing the metallic beast to stir instantly. Near wanted to see blood.

The dark skies suddenly changed to a blinding white.

_OK. Enough guys. I'm stopping this now._

Mello's voice echoed through Near's head. The dragon was gone, and all that Near saw was Matt's tear stained face. Near fell to his knees at the realization, almost sickened at what he almost did.

_Cmon, lets pull out...take a break._

Near closed his eyes and leaned backwards, feeling his consciousness zoom back into his own body. He opened his eyes, breathing heavily with strands of his white hair stuck to the beads of sweat on his forehead. He released L's arm, and locked eyes with Matt, who's face still showed evidence of the horror just moments ago.

"Matt!" Near whimpered as he wrapped his arms around Matt's body, burying his face in his chest. Matt responded by placing his hands on Near's quivering back.

"shhh... it's ok... I know... I know what happened."

"I... almost killed you." Near cried.

"Mello! What the fuck took you so long to stop it! You had control over the whole thing! L told us that if you get killed in there, you die for real!" Matt barked, his heart still clenched from the experience.

"I'm sorry... I don't know." He replied, staring at the floor.

Mello heard a sniffle. He turned to look at L, who wore a horrified expression, clutching his legs to his chest. His eyes were red and wet.

"L?" Mello asked.

"Wh...Where am I? Who's L?"

Mello lowered himself down to L, who jerked his head backwards, fearful of the blonde.

"What is your name?" Matt asked.

"Lawliet."

The three of them looked at each other.

"Who's Lawliet?" Near asked.

"You didn't see him?" Matt asked.

"No... Where was he?"

"He was standing right next to me. It's...L...his inner child I assume."

Mello put his hand on the bridge of his nose, scared that they permanently damaged his lover in some horrific way.

"What do we do?! This was just supposed to be a fucking training exercise!" He said.

"Lawliet... We're not going to hurt you..." Matt said, soothing the boy trapped inside, he turned to look upwards at Near and Mello, "We have to go back in. We have to find L, and put Lawliet back where he belongs."

"I don't want to go back!" L screamed, grabbing Matt's hand, making Mello's eyes widen with surprise.

"Lawliet. I promise I wont bring you back to that monster. I promise it will be ok." Matt said.

The word _monster_ made Near's blood run cold, being that he was the one in control of it.

"How are we going to do this?" Mello asked.

"I know of a place to bring him." Matt said, "Lawliet, hold out your arms. I promise we wont hurt you."

L reluctantly held his arms out, and nearly retracted them as they each grasped his arms gently. Before they knew it, they were back inside L's consciousness. Lawliet was back to his normal 9 year old self, grasping Matt's hand. They were in a large darkened room. The black walls were lined with doors. Every one of them was closed, and had a shimmer of light that shone brightly from the gap underneath.

_Which one... Which one did I open..._

Matt walked around the room with Lawliet in tow, trying like all hell to remember. He was only there once...

"I think this one is it." Matt said, reaching for a door handle. He closed his eyes and increased the firmness of his grasp on Lawliet's hand before turning the handle. He pushed the door open and breathed a sigh of relief as he found what he was looking for.

He entered the room, which was bursting with white, red and pink. Lawliet's eyes widened and a smile crept up on his face as he witnessed conveyor belts of candy whiz past. Racks of chocolate cakes, ice cream fountains, and gumball dispensers the size of cars surrounded them. Matt released his hand, and he boy took off on his own, jumping on top of a conveyor belt, letting it carry him around while he grabbed fistfuls of candy.

"Thanks!" He called out to Matt, who looked onwards with an errant tear escaping his eye. He slowly turned around and walked back through the door, closing it behind him. He was back in that darkened room, looking downwards at the ground, revelling in the innocence he had just witnessed. It brought a crooked smile to his face. He looked up slowly to see Mello and Near standing across from him.

"You're so sweet." Near said, walking to Matt and kissing him on the lips, draping his arms around his neck.

"Ok...Ok... Lets get back. You can do this later." Mello said with a voice of exasperation, rolling his eyes dramatically.

Near pulled away from Matt, looking deeply into his eyes. They felt the rush as they transferred back into their own consciousnesses the blinding light of the room flooding their eyes. They released L's arm.

"That...was interesting." L said, his voice carrying his usual inflection.

There was a collective sigh from Matt, Near and Mello, a sigh of much needed relief. Mello unabashedly wrapped his arms around L's neck and kissed him gently on the lips. Near scrunched his nose in surprise at the sight.

"I'll explain later." Matt said. Near turned to him and looked deeply into his eyes once more before kissing him.

"I love you Matt."

A/N: This wasn't originally planned, but it just came to me so I did it. I thought it came out pretty good, but I'll let you, my wonderful readers (who don't review worth a shit. hint hint) be the judge. I've got the rest of the story written at this point, I'm just doing editing to the final chapters, so updates should come more frequently.

Oh and of course I have to pimp Matt (not like he needs it LOL) Matt is a very good friend of mine who's been helping more people find out about my stories. He writes some fantastic Naruto fanfics, and I highly suggest them. If you don't know who he is check him out here /u/1036563/. I love you Matt! (amusingly that was also the last line of this chapter).


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Near knew Matt wasn't asleep. He could tell just by his breathing. It likely was the same reason Near was up as well. Both were afraid. The next night was to mark the beginning the last segment of their journey, the most dangerous one yet.

The training was going well, too well in fact. None of them actually wanted to get started with this. The whole idea seemed just impossible. Nobody had yet called it a suicide mission, but that's what was on everyone's mind.

"Matt, I know you're not asleep." Near said, with his back pressed up against Matt's bare chest. Matt kissed the back of Near's neck gently in response.

"Yeah.... you too huh?"

"I'm scared."

Matt's heart clenched as the words left Near's lips. He wanted to protect him from everything, even his own fears.

"I'm sure everything's going to be just fine. We'll get through this, and then we can put it all behind us," Matt lied and he wondered if his voice showed it. He _was_ scared, but he needed to instil hope, "and I was thinking about where we would like to live once they start rebuilding."

"Where are we going to live?"

"Well I was thinking, we could have our own house. I'm sure they'll hook us up nicely after saving their planet. I'm not asking for much. Just something big enough for the two of us... and maybe one day some kids."

Near turned around onto face Matt.

"Are you serious?" He said.

"Isn't that something you would want?"

"Of course it is....I don't even know what to say."

Even in this barely lit room, Near's eyes glowed like iridescent sapphires, leaving Matt breathless.

"You're beautiful. You know that right?"

Near kissed Matt softly, placing his hand on Matt's cheek. Matt placed his hand over Near's, rubbing gently with his thumb.

"Make love to me Matt....right now. If for some reason anything bad happens tomorrow.... I want to have you inside of me tonight."

Matt responded by kissing Near passionately. They both cried that night quietly while making love, as the possibility of it being the last time loomed over their heads like a black cloud.

The next morning Matt and Near entered the lobby to find Mello loading their supplies into the unicat. They had done most of the planning the night before after their training. There was almost nothing left to do. Matt found himself pacing, checking the same things over and over again.

"Mello, are you sure you have everything? It's at least a 3 hour drive to Ictis."

"Yes Matt. I double checked and triple checked. We have everything the four of us need."

"The three of you." L said.

"You're not coming? You're going to stay here all by yourself?" Mello replied.

L sat down on the bench, and looked down, exhaling slowly.

"I wont be here when you get back. I'm being recalled to the homeworld. My mission was only to get you trained and ready."

"What?! You're leaving me?!" Mello said, becoming visibly upset.

"I have no choice."

"You did have a choice when you told me you loved me!" Mello said, crouching down to meet L's eyes, grabbing his arms forcefully.

"I meant what I said."

"When were you planning on telling me this? You couldn't tell me last night?"

"I didn't want to spoil our last night together."

For a moment Mello looked as if he was going to cry, but he inhaled sharply, gritting his teeth, stuffing the sadness deep down within him. Matt and Near moved a little closer to each other, sympathetic to what Mello's situation.

"Take me with you." Mello demanded.

"I cant."

"Take me!"

"I cant! It doesn't work that way! I wish I could!" L shouted.

Mello leaned forwards, pressing his forehead against L's while still holding his wrists firmly. Matt motioned to Near to go outside with him to wait in the unicat, to at least afford them some privacy in this hugely emotional moment.

"Goodbye." Mello said, barely above a whisper, tears streaming down his face.

"Goodbye Mello. I love you."

The words made Mello break. He felt every ounce of warmth being pulled from him. All the warmth inside he had built up, ripped from him in an instant. He felt cold, like concrete. He forced the words out, before his soul closed up entirely.

"I love you too."

Mello kissed L one last time, before sealing up entirely. His face was hardened as he walked away and through the door.

"Lets get the fuck out of here." Mello said as he climbed into the helm of the unicat, slamming the door behind him.

"Mello, do you need me up there to navigate?" Matt asked.

"I know what I'm doing. Just stay back there for now."

Matt pulled Near closer to him, disheartened by Mello's cold tone. He feared that Mello was going to be even more nihilistic than he was before, that he was going to spiral far deeper into his self-destructive pit.

He knew why, Mello didn't want him up there next to him. He was crying. Mello didn't cry, especially not in front of anyone. Especially not in front of Matt. But after an hour of dead silence, Near decided to get up and join Mello. Matt motioned to stop him, but Near shot him a look that said 'let me do this''.

Near settled down in the seat next to Mello in a somewhat sideways position, facing him. His blue eyes were icons of compassion. Mello didn't even look in Near's direction, he knew the stare he was receiving, and wasn't going to give in to it. He wasn't going to open up. Not to Near.

"Are you ok Mello?" Near asked.

"Fine."

"It would be perfectly understandable if you're not."

"I said I'm fine. Me and L had a fling and it's over. I'll move on. It's that easy."

"I know that's not true."

"Doesn't Matt need you back there? Shouldn't you be attaching yourself to him like usual?"

Near looked down at his lap.

"I suppose Mello is going to go back to hating me again."

Mello paused for a second to think of the situation. He didn't realize how obvious he was being. How obvious it was that he was so deeply hurt. Near was right, however. There was no reason for him to be taking it out on him.

"No. I wont." Mello said, forcing a smirk and aiming his eyes in Near's direction, while keeping his head fixed forwards.

Near repositioned himself in the seat, facing forward, with not another word said between them. Mello found comfort with Near next to him, and it was something he didn't quite understand, but he felt better with him around. He knew he could talk to him, that he could open up his heart to Near, and that's all he really needed. He didn't need to say anything.

"Hey, are we there yet?" Matt asked, waking up from a nap.

"Almost. Probably another 30 minutes or so." Mello replied.

"I suppose I should get up now."

Matt stood up and stretched, trying to shake the sleep out of his system. He quickly started to become very anxious, as the reality of what was about to take place settled in.

"Mello, your gun's loaded right?" He asked.

"Fully."

Matt glanced over at Near, who was fixed straight ahead, staring at the road ahead through the windshield. He was surprised Mello allowed him to stay and wondered what they had talked about. He was glad to see them getting along better every day. Things were difficult enough as they were without them fighting.

The city of Ictis loomed ahead. Their heart rates quickened as the steel gray structures became larger.

"Near can you look at that map? Tell me exactly where this hive mind is supposed to be?"

Near examined the map and guided Mello to their target.

"Everyone ready? This is it now. Matt sit down and fasten your seatbelt. You too Near."

Everyone buckled themselves into their seats, preparing for the impact that crashing through the Sinthorian's proverbial front gate would bring.

The hive mind was situated in the middle of a large street. They had seen a few of the alien creatures here and there, but were zooming by them so quickly they weren't in any danger. Unfortunately that means the Sinthorians were able to send a warning, and that would mean a decent amount of opposition. Mello hoped they were spread out enough that they wouldn't have the time to re-group so quickly to defend their hive.

The population was growing denser with each passing moment. Mello had to swerve carefully around several of them as he brought the vehicle to top speed.

The 3 story organic structure was clearly visible now ahead of them. It's appearance was very similar to the creatures themselves, with smooth, shiny gray skin and tall columns adjacent to the opening in front that resembled limbs. The opening itself looked hardly big enough for the unicat to fit through, which meant penetrating deeply inside the structure would be difficult.

The aliens were starting to attack now. L was right, their weapons were useless against the heavy vehicle, but that didn't stop them from trying. Mello had no reservations about preserving them though. Several of them bounced off the front end, each impact making a sickening "bang!".

"Everyone hang on!" Mello shouted. Near gripped the armrests of the seat firmly just moments before the impact. A sinthorian bounced off the front of the vehicle and into the windscreen, badly cracking it and making Near yelp.

The unicat hit the leg-like columns of the hive with it's flanks, breaking them in half. Dark green, almost black blood sprayed the exterior of the vehicle, coating the windscreen and making it difficult to see.

"Mello there's a bunch of them behind us!" Matt called out, looking through the small rear window.

Mello stopped the vehicle instantly and launched it in reverse. Matt felt the rear of the vehicle lurch upwards as it crushed the bodies of the aliens that were unable to get out of the way. He nearly reversed all the way out of the hive, before taking off forwards again, killing the remaining creatures in his path.

"Matt, grab my gun from my bag! I'll have to finish the rest of them off once we get outside!"

Matt pulled the weapon from Mello's bag.

"How many shots are there?"

"Ten. I'm going to try and situate the unicat as a barricade of sorts to slow down the ones we cant kill. We wont have much time to get connected with this fucking thing's brain."

Mello spun the unicat sideways, wedging it in between the two walls of what seemed like a hallway. He unfastened his seatbelt and hopped downwards into the rear cabin, taking the gun from Matt. Near unbuckled himself and nervously climbed down. His face was flushed and sweaty, his gaze read of sheer terror.

"Stay close to me Near." Matt said, taking Near's hand.

"I'm not leaving your side." He said in a breathy tone, his voice quivering slightly.

Mello opened the door of the unicat and poked his head outside, his gun held outwards. He fired almost immediately at an extremely angry Sinthorian, who was barring it's teeth, lunging at him. The round took half of the creatures face off, spraying Mello with it's thick green blood. Near almost became sick at the sight.

"Ok. Let's go." Mello shouted

They carefully filed outside. The air was heavy and damp, and thick with a slightly rotten smell that agitated their already queasy stomachs. Mello's gun fired again, this time at one that was leaping at them from on top of the unicat. The creature fell to his feet. The whole place became eerily quiet.

Matt turned around to look behind them, and staggered backwards slightly at the sight before him. He tapped Mello's arm.

"Mello. I think this is what we're looking for."

The hive mind was situated in front of them, sitting on top of a large platform. It was a huge gray mass, mostly round, but with a somewhat uneven, lumpy surface. It looked like a giant 30 foot tall round brain, with gangs of tubes draped from it, some of them shooting jets of steam into the air.

Mello heard a noise behind him. He turned around just in time to find a Sinthorian ready to take a sword-like blade to him. He fired at the creature once to knock it over, and then plugged two more rounds into it's skull, spraying more blood onto him.

"We better do this quickly because half my ammo is gone already." Mello said.

They moved as close as they could get to the brain as the platform was too high for them to climb.

"How are we supposed to get up there? What are we supposed to...touch?" Near said.

"L did say that it was possible to do it without physical contact." Matt replied.

Another loud gunshot echoed through the room as Mello took out another alien that managed to get past their barricade.

"Well let's hurry the fuck up!"

The three of them held hands, facing the odd organic object before them.

"Do we stare at it?" Near asked.

"I don't know!" Matt replied.

Simultaneously, the three of them felt a slight rush.

"Did you feel that?!"

"Yes, lets keep going!"

And suddenly they were in, and alone from each other in a completely strange world.

_Matt?_

_I'm here Near._

_Where are you? _

_I have no fucking idea. There's a lot going on in my head. Mello?_

_I'm in too. What the FUCK._

The three of them found themselves in a world far darker than they had imagined. It was like the worst nightmare a person could think of.

Mello was in the middle of a fiery, unstable landscape. Stone like trees peppered the grounds, surrounded by jets of ash and lava. He could feel the heat. The sky was black, but the scenery was awash in a reddish orange color, brightening slightly as the lava shot up into the sky. Mello didn't seem to be in any apparent danger, but he was nervous nonetheless, looking around carefully. Hundreds, if not thousands of Sinthorians were mulling about, seemingly unaware of Mello's presence.

_Is this what their homeworld looks like? No wonder they came here._ Mello said.

Matt could barely hear what Mello had said. His mind was being overwhelmed by a cacophony of thousands of thoughts not his own. He couldn't even feel his body, it was as if he was floating, but unsure what he was floating in. He wanted to scream. Images flashed before his eyes constantly, although they flew past too quickly to even process what they were. He teetered on the brink of sanity, trying to keep a grip on himself, trying to focus on just one thought, any one of them.

Near found himself in a large dark room. The walls were a steely black, and there wasn't any apparent way in or out. The room was lit somewhat dimly, but there was no apparent light source either. The place was featureless, aside from one object fixed in the middle of the room. A single Sinthorian, was staring coldly at Near, sending a chilly shiver up his spine. He wanted to call out to Matt, but was unable to find his voice, even if it was only in his head. The creature just stood there, not moving, not doing anything.

Matt concentrated hard, trying to figure out what his purpose was here. He latched on to one of them, a single thought. It was then he realized what he was seeing. He could see the dusty landscapes of Etherine, through un-human eyes. He could feel the cold air of the planet around him like a shroud. The vision panned around, showing a fearful human, an older man with salt and pepper hair, on his back, clambering away fearfully.

A human figure appeared to Near's left in the darkened room. The once seemingly paralysed Sinthorian lunged at it, tearing into the human's neck, blood sprayed out onto the floor, some of it landing on Near's face. He thought it was going to be sick.

_Oh fuck! I just watched one of them kill a human!_ Matt cried out, his voice resounding though Near's head.

Near fought down the nausea swirling in his gut, while an idea came to him.

_Matt, what did the human look like? _Near said.

_It was a man in his 50's or so, somewhat grayish hair, and a moustache. He looked terrified. _

Near's theory was correct. Near was in a command room of sorts. Sinthorians on the surface present questions to the hive mind based on things they find, and the hive mind must respond with an example of the action it want's the creature to take. He looked down at his own hand, and nearly screamed at the clawed, grey digits. He was one of them. Near now knew what he had to do next, he had to kill the Sinthorian in front of him. That example should set off a chain reaction, or so he hoped.

Near hesitated for a moment, not sure how he should proceed. He gritted his teeth, and lunged forward at the creature, digging his nails into it's face and pulling back hard. Green blood sprayed from the wounds. He felt muscle and bone tear as he pulled it's jaw almost from it's face. The stringy mass of flesh was swinging loosely as the creature swayed.

The skies before Mello went from black to blood red, he heard a rumbling sound coming from the ground beneath him.

_Something's happening guys. I'm not sure what you did, but something's definitely happening. _ Mello said.

All of the sudden, the Sinthorians in front of Mello started savagely attacking each other. A menagerie of flesh and detached limbs, eviscerated with claws and sharp teeth.

Matt was still observing the thoughts of that same alien. He felt the creature whirl around before seeing a final vision of a clawed hand coming at him. Everything went black. The swirling mass of thoughts started again. Matt was able to watch them long enough to see what was happening. Nearly all of them were showing something similar. The Sinthorians were absolutely brutalizing each other. Those with weapons beheaded others, those without just used their teeth and claws.

_Near. It's working! Keep it up!_

Near's heart was racing as he killed each creature that appeared before him. He was far stronger in this alien body than in his own. Despite Near being a generally non-violent person, the feeling was euphoric. They started appearing two at a time, sometimes three, and while they didn't fight him back, it was hard to keep on top of. He managed to grab a sword from one of them, and started dismembering them angrily. There were too many of them building up in the room at this point.

_Matt, I'm having trouble keeping up! There's too many! _

Matt watched as bloody battle after bloody battle passed before him. Body parts were flying around, green blood poured onto the ground. It was violence of immeasurable proportions, an absolute bloodbath. Matt had seen something that caught his eye. He struggled to latch onto the thought, barely losing it.

It was the three of them, standing before the hive mind. The creature was drawing closer with a blade in it's hand. Matt felt the panic rising inside of him as he saw what the creature was focusing on. It had it's eyes locked on Near. It knew. It knew what Near was doing, that he was responsible. His protective instincts kicked in without hesitation. He spoke to Mello, without Near being able to hear.

_Mello, Promise me you'll take care of Near._

_Matt, what are you doing?_

_Promise me. Promise me you'll protect him and you wont ever leave him._

_I promise, Matt._

_Near, I love you. I will love you forever._

_Matt? What's going on? What's happening?_ Near said.

Matt pulled himself back to his own consciousness, feeling the ground beneath his feet once more. He was a bit dizzy, but took a deep breath as he turned around, facing the rogue alien. It took notice of Matt, but it didn't even have enough time to respond before he attacked it. Matt leapt at it knocking it to the ground. He was on top of the creature, trying to pin it's arms down, trying to get it to release it's weapon. The creature was too strong though, and it flipped Matt over onto his side. Matt felt the blade slash his neck, a crimson tide of blood poured forth from the wound, soaking into his shirt. He waited for the next fatal blow to come, but heard sounds of struggle. Another Sinthorian had killed it for him, and was walking away.

Matt rolled over to see Near still standing there with Mello, unharmed. The blood was coming out of him faster than he could ever imagine. He knew he was going to die. He stared at Near's form as the tears built up inside his eyes. He was lucky enough to have a second chance with him, but he knew a third would be impossible. He was losing his grip on life quickly. It would be over soon, and he would be reborn in a new place, alone once again, his soul burning eternally for Near.

The sounds around him started to become quiet, it sounded like the battle was nearly over, that they had succeeded, and with no more blood left to bleed, Matt died.

Near and Mello had both opened their eyes.

"I think we did it! Where's Matt?" Near said looking next to him.

Near turned around to see Matt laying on the ground, nearly beheaded, in a puddle of his own blood.

"MATT!!!! NOOOOO!!!!" He screamed running over to the body, kneeling down in the bloody pool.

He sobbed uncontrollably into Matt's chest unable to look at the fatal wound, screaming as loud as he could. Mello felt the blood leave his face, the pain of watching Near lose the only person he ever loved was crushing him. Matt's last words to him rang in his head. Mello walked over to Near, and placed his hand gently on his back. Near turned around, his eyes and face were red and wet. His pleading blue eyes were empty, a window into his broken soul.

Near thought of everything he and Matt had all at once. How Matt made him feel safe, how he gave Near hope for the future. He thought about the two of them having children together, how Matt gave him a reason to wake up every day in this cold world. He thought of his smell, his taste, the warmth of his body next to his, the sound of his voice. He had lost him again, and like before he wasn't sure how he'd survive it.

Near tried to stand up, but didn't have the strength. Mello picked Near up by his shoulders gently and wrapped his arms around the boy tightly, allowing him to sob openly onto him. He rubbed his hands up and down Near's back, while starting to cry himself, staring downwards at Matt, his friend. He knew he was in for a difficult road ahead, but he promised to himself not to let Matt down.

"I'll be here for you Near. I promise." Mello spoke softly.

"I want to die. I don't want to live without him." Near sobbed, he was barely understandable.

'"I'm not going to let that happen, Near. You'll get through this. We'll get through this together."

A/N: Aaaahhh that was difficult to write. All of it actually. I was struggling with the abstract idea of what the inside of an alien hive mind would look like. I hope I did a decent job. It's not over yet. There's one more chapter to go and then that's it. If the end of this chapter didn't make you cry, then the next one certainly will if you're prone to that kind of thing. Please review? Thx.


	11. Chapter 11

Holding Onto Forever 2

Chapter 11

2 Months Later:

Mello walked up to the front door of the 2 story brick building, carefully balancing a grocery bag in his arms as he fished his keys out of his pocket. He slid the key into the lock and turned before using his shoulder to push open the door, and then kicking it closed once inside. He placed the heavy grocery bag down on the kitchen counter, exhaling slightly while taking off his black coat.

"Near. Are you hungry? I was going to make soup." Mello said, projecting his voice into the next room.

Near was sitting down on the couch with his knees held close to chest. He was wearing white pajamas, the same as you would have seen him in years ago. The pajamas hung loosely around his thin frame. He looked gaunt, almost skeletal. He stared ahead blankly at the wall in front of him, barely responding to Mello's entrance, the dark circles under his eyes exaggerated in the darkness of the room.

"I'm not hungry." He replied dryly.

"Near. You've hardly eaten anything lately. You don't look well."

"I'm not."

"Well you've lost nearly 20 pounds these past few months, I'll force feed you if I have to. I promised Matt I would take care of you..."

"Don't say his name! I cant bear to hear it!" Near cried out loudly, before laying down on the couch, pulling a blanket over him. He could be heard crying softly into the pillow.

Mello put down what he was doing and walked over to Near, sitting down on edge of the couch. He placed his hand on Near's back, rubbing softly.

"Near, please."

Near sat up and wrapped his arms around Mello, sobbing into his shoulder.

"I miss him Mello! I cant take it anymore! Why don't you just let me die!"

"Because I promised I wouldn't." Mello replied softly, holding Near in that position while he cried, something he did nearly every day.

It was beginning to affect Mello. It was hard seeing Near constantly in this state. Unfortunately while the planet was rebuilding things quickly, professional psychiatric help was almost non-existent. Mello was all Near had to help him through these dark times, and on some level, Mello needed Near too. He needed someone to care for. It gave him purpose. He had grown to love Near, and often wondered if Near would ever feel the same about him.

Near's cries settled into the occasional shiver. Mello's shirt was soaked with his tears, but he didn't complain.

"Will you please eat something?" Mello asked again.

"Ok."

Mello left Near on the couch and returned to the kitchen. He fought back tears of sympathy while he chopped the vegetables. He missed L desperately. While he was stronger than Near, the only thing preventing him from losing his mind was Near himself. He was a good distraction, but every once in a while, especially after Near had one of his breakdowns, he began to think. He didn't want to cry in front of Near, who was a shell of his former self, so he stayed strong while he was around. He had to be strong enough for the both of them.

The house was silent, except for the sounds of the soup boiling on the stove. Near had resumed his previous position, staring at the wall. It had almost seemed if he was staring through it, lost completely in his own personal hell. Mello wondered what was going on in his head.

Near often voiced concern of where Matt ended up. He wondered if he was in someplace pleasant, or someplace awful. He wondered if he was happy, or if he was as crushed as he was, and while he never said it, Mello knew Near was worried that Matt had found someone else to love.

Mello poured the soup into a shallow bowl and placed it on the counter in front of a stool.

"Near, the soup's ready. Come eat."

Near slowly got up from the couch and shuffled into the kitchen, plopping down on the stool. He slowly began to eat, not once looking down, still staring straight ahead.

"I would like to go to the cemetery tomorrow." He said.

"But Near, we were just there yesterday." Mello replied.

Even though the only time Near ever left the house was to visit Matt's grave, Mello felt it was time for Near to begin to let go, otherwise he would never recover from this. However, as Near looked up at him, staring at him with pleading eyes, Mello was powerless. He couldn't do it.

"Please..." Near's voice was barely a whisper.

Mello nodded, before turning around to start cleaning up the kitchen. He heard the spoon scraping the bowl again, but only for a short while, followed by the sound of it sliding on the countertop a bit.

"I'm finished." Near said.

"Near, you didn't even eat half of it."

"I don't want anymore. I'm going to bed."

Near slid from the stool and onto his feet. He walked into his bedroom, shutting the door behind him. Mello could hear the faint sounds of his sobs behind the door as he cried himself to sleep.

Mello had some time to himself, but he didn't want to use it to think. He had to keep himself busy, so he cleaned the house obsessively. He did the laundry, hand-washed all the dishes, mopped the floors, cleaned the bathroom, and anything else he could think of until he was exhausted at which point he retired to his bed.

The next morning Mello was up early making breakfast. He let Near sleep in. There wasn't any real purpose to waking him up. It seemed like sleep was the only peace the boy had anyway.

There was a knock at the door. It startled Mello, as they never had any visitors. He stopped what he was doing and wiped his hands on a towel walking towards the front door.

Mello nearly fell backwards at what he saw on the other side of that door.

"Hello Mello." L said, a smirk dressing his face.

Mello glomped L, squeezing him tightly as tears of joy ran down his face. He exhaled deeply as L ran his hands up and down his back.

"You came back for me."

"I love you too much. I had to come back."

Mello nearly melted at his words, the tears started flowing faster from his tightly shut eyes as they stood in the threshold of the front door grasping each other.

Mello opened his eyes and saw a flash of auburn hair. He slackened his grip on L.

"Matt?"

Matt was standing in the walkway smiling.

"I came back too."

Mello released L and embraced Matt.

"Near is going to be so happy." Mello said.

"How is he?" Matt asked.

Mello withdrew from Matt and shook his head slowly.

"Not well. He's in bed right now." Mello said, gesturing to the front door.

Matt nodded and walked into the house, looking around for the bedroom. He found a closed door and opened it slowly. Near was sleeping, clutching a stuffed bear. Matt's heart sank when he noticed how much weight he lost, how sick he looked.

He sat down on the bed, and stroked Near's hair, gently brushing it away from his face. Near's eyes fluttered open, and immediately went wide when he focused on Matt. He pulled himself upwards in the bed, clutching his knees to his chest. He thought he had finally cracked, that his fragile mind had broken down fully and was deceiving him, tormenting him. Matt watched in horror as Near shook his head back and forth pulling at his hair with closed fists. Near wanted to call out to Mello, to tell him he was hallucinating, but couldn't find his voice. Matt's touch calmed his movements, but his mind was still racing. It felt too real, the warmth of Matt's hand on his own.

"You're not really there. This is all in my head." Near said, his voice cracking and quivering.

Matt pulled Near into him, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

"It really is me. I'm here." Matt said.

Near breathed Matt's scent in deeply, succumbing to the fantasy, he broke down into sobs as he hugged Matt tightly, the feeling of safety and warmth enveloping him like a flood. He wanted to drown in it.

"Please be real... please be real..." Near chanted. His body was shivering.

Matt pulled Near away for a moment and looked deep into his eyes and then kissed him gently.

"Believe me now?" Matt said smiling, wiping the tears away from Near's face.

Near hugged him again, putting his head down on Matt's shoulder. He started to sob again, to let out the months of pain he had built up. He could hardly believe this was really happening, but the feelings were too intense for it to be a delusion. Matt really was back. Near's sobs settled into an occasional sniffle.

"How? How did you come back?"

"L. He...intercepted me, and used his influence on Lithia to send me back. He's here too you know."

"This is amazing. Mello must be thrilled."

"Oh he is."

They released each other from the hug. Matt held Near at arms length and looked him up and down.

"Near you look terrible." Matt said, an obvious tone of concern in his voice.

"These past few months haven't been easy for me." He replied, looking down at his lap.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry it all happened. I did it to save you."

"I know what you did. I'm grateful. I just have you back now and that's all I care about."

Another 2 months later:

It was only supposed to be a small ceremony. Just a gathering of certain people, but word spreads fast. Everyone wanted to be there. People came from distant cities all over the planet to see Matt and Near joined together in marriage. At the front row was L, Mello, Olivia and John, the few people they knew in this world. The rest were filled with friends they never knew they had.

The weather couldn't have been more beautiful. It was as sunny as it could get on Etherine, the winds were calm and the air was warm and dry.

Matt and Near stood facing each other holding hands in front of the podium while an official from the Ministry stood behind them, signaling to Matt to begin. Matt fished the ring out of his pocket, and took Near's hand gently, before putting it on his finger.

"I, Mail Jeevas, promise to love you, protect you from harm, care for you when you're sick, to consider your needs as well as mine, to make you laugh when you need to, and to let you cry as well. I promise to devote my life to making you happy, and cherish you for all eternity."

Near swallowed hard, but couldn't stop the errant tear of joy from escaping. He took out his ring, and put it on Matt's finger the same as Matt had done to him. He smiled widely before taking his turn.

"I, Nate River, promise to never let you out of the house, handle any sharp objects, or do anything that involves fire, chemicals, or any other type of hazard..."

The roar of laughter from the audience was infectious, causing both Matt and the official to crack up into hysterics. Near allowed the audience to settle down again before his face became more serious.

"When we first met, I never thought I'd ever know how to feel, how to love, or how to even cry. I wasn't human, even though I thought I was. You made me human. You made me feel all those things, and while it sometimes hurt, the wonderful feelings that come along with it are what makes life worth living. When I look into your eyes, everything wrong with the world is right again. When I hear your voice, nothing can bother me, when I feel your touch, I know nothing can ever harm me. I, Nate River, promise to always stay by your side, to always help you make your dreams come true, and to comfort you when they don't. I promise to love, and cherish you for all eternity, for as long as my soul exists."

"By the power vested in me by the Prime Minister, you are officially married. Congratulations to the both of you." The official said.

Matt placed his hands onto Near's cheeks gently, while Near placed his at Matt's sides, closing their eyes as their lips touched. Surges of electricity passed through them as they shared the most important kiss they've ever had. A kiss that bound them together for eternity.

After the ceremony, L had met Matt and Near outside, waiting patiently as the crowd swarmed around them, shaking their hands. He made his way over as the the crowd dissipated.

"Hey L!" Matt said.

"I wanted to congratulate the both of you again, but there was something else I needed to tell you. You two will be together forever."

"Yeah, that's what we're hoping, which is why Matt is going to wear a helmet every where he goes." Near said, rubbing Matt's head playfully.

"No, that's not what I meant. Your souls are now bound together for eternity. It's something I was able to make happen when I was back on Lithia. If the both of you die, you'll both end up in the same realm."

"Are you serious?" Matt said. L responded with a nod.

"Thank you!!" They both said in unison, embracing L in a hug, "You don't know how much this means to us." Near said.

"Now go enjoy your honeymoon." L said, smiling.

A/N:

Aahh.. doesn't everybody love a happy ending? I know I do. I cant believe this story is finally complete, it seemed to drag on forever. But now I can start with the next one, which is very exciting. Thanks for all the reviews and support.

Another thing. This story means quite a bit to me actually. I hadn't really intended to write a sequel to HOF, but one of my reviewers begged me for a sequel. :) I started to think about it, and how I would pull it off. I decided to e-mail him and ask him if he wanted to be my beta reader of sorts, since I was writing the story for him, and he was excited about the idea. What started out as just two writers sharing ideas and helping each other out has blossomed into one of the greatest friendships in my life right now, and I think that's a beautiful thing. I love you Matt (aka Vampiricshadow)!


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